Attention Maker
by Firebloom
Summary: Sequel to Attention Seeker... Axel believes that it was he who brought together Roxas and Namine. With this thought fueling his ego, he takes up what he believes to be his calling: match-making. Of course, Larxene and Demyx are coming for the ride.
1. Axel's New Occupation

**A/N: Ah, bet you guys didn't see this one comin', huh? Truth be told, I was thinking of some sort of sequel for this, and I kinda excused the thought. But now, I thank the author Psychic Genuis, who encouraged me to make a sequel, and I also thank this author for giving me a few ideas for it: Axel playing match-maker, and him getting revenge on Larx somehow (yeah, I agree that people would love to see that! XP) after that pet shop incident in the last chapter of "Attention Seeker". There'll be Namixas on the side, of course, but be aware that it's not the dominant pairing like how it was in the predecessor.**

**And so, I excitedly bring to you the sequel of "Attention Seeker"!**

**Oh, and I don't own the lyrics to the song that you'll see later in this chapter. It's from the Wicked musical, and I'm quite sure the song they're from is called "Dancing Through Life". Correct me if I'm wrong; I'll appreciate it.**

* * *

It was a fact among the Organization: Roxas was courting Namine, the group's memory witch. They couldn't even gossip about it, the two were so open with their relationship. Some like Saix and Xaldin said that the two teens were trying to fool themselves into thinking that they had a heart. Demyx said it was true love that transcended even their Nobody condition; a bottle was thrown at his head after he said this, of course. Larxene excused their relationship as raging hormones.

Axel, however, didn't care what they excused it as.

The Flurry Of Dancing Flames saw their relationship as a result of his "match-making skills". It was the pyro who had set up their first date, and it was him -along with Larxene and Demyx- who had kept their date going 'smoothly'. Hell, Axel took credit for bringing the teens together.

In fact, that was just the topic that arose during his latest conversation with Larxene, which happened to be right now, the most present moment. The eighth member was seated on the counter, next to the refrigerator, and his comrade was digging through its contents, about to reply to Axel's statement.

"Really now?" the Nymph drawled, playfully incredulous. She pushed aside the fruit bowl as she dug deeper. "So, what, are you a match-maker now or something?"

Axel puffed his chest out proudly. "Well, it was ME who set up their first date in the first place, so you gotta take that into consideration. But yes, I think it's me who's responsible for setting them up and getting them together."

Larxene rolled her eyes but her friend didn't see it, she was that far in the refrigerator. Moving the soft drinks away, she said, "Well then, O great match-maker, who's next on your list?"

Axel blinked, intrigued. "What do you mean?"

Larxene breathed a quick laugh before saying, "Well, a match-maker matches people up, right? Or was Roxas the only one because he's your best friend?" The Savage Nymph grinned in triumph as she found the chicken.

Axel cupped his chin in obvious thought. "Well, I guess I can work with other people," he murmured airily. "It would be a fun thing to do, too." He grinned devilishly. "Who should we start with first?"

Larxene smirked. "I think--"

"No wait, wait a minute!" Axel said, cutting her off and waving a hand in front of her face eagerly. Before Larxene could try and bite, Axel said, "Let's bring Demyx along again! That way it'll a be a real round two!"

Larxene rolled her eyes. "Well, let's work out who we'll try and have you match up first, then go see Demyx."

Axel nodded with brimming enthusiasm. "You already have someone in mind?"

"That girl at the pet shop you were hitting on last month."

Axel frowned. "Very funny," he grumbled to a smirking Larxene.

* * *

"Uh... You're gonna be a match-maker?" The Nocturne's incredulous frown was almost immediate as he heard Axel's grand scheme. "Who inflated your ego with _that_ idea?"

Larxene coughed, and Demyx groaned, putting his palm to his forehead. "Oh boy...," he sighed, looking at his white ceiling. "Well, I guess the only way to steer you away from this is to actually have you try it out... Who are we matching up first?"

Larxene's eyes lit up mischievously. "Oh, it's gonna be that--"

Axel clamped a hand over her mouth. "I'll have my revenge on _you _for that later," he hissed into her ear; through his glove, he felt her grin widen. To Demyx, he said, "Well, I was thinking of one of our loneliest members. A man who appears quiet and apathetic only on the outside. A man who loses himself in his practices and hobbies just to escape his nagging loneliness. He tries to stave off his sheer, agonizing pain by throwing things at us, as a vent."

Demyx struggled with following along while trying to piece together who Axel was talking about. "Um... Vexen?"

Axel blinked. "Oh, there's no hope for Vexen, plain and simple. No, you dummy! I'm talking about _Zexion!"_

Even Larxene seemed surprised at the suggestion. "You're talking about asexual Zexion?" she asked, disbelief laced in her voice.

"What's wrong with that?"

Demyx sighed and wrapped his arm around Axel's shoulders. "To put it this way, dude, you're barking up the wrong tree when it comes to finding a match for Zexion, of all people." He chuckled. "How about Larxene and I help you find people to match up? That way you'll have more energy and thinking power to find the right matches. What do you say?"

Axel seemed to think again. "Okay, sounds fine with me." He shrugged.

Demyx shot a worried glance at Larxene, who simply shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Eh," she said dismissively, "it'll give me an opportunity to see him get his rear end whooped."

"They better be gentle," Axel retorted, smirking at how Larxene's face fell to a shocked and blank look.

* * *

Roxas slowly pulled Namine over into his arms, and the two stared out the girl's window, looking up at the heart-shaped moon floating above, watching them all. He nuzzled her neck affectionately, and his girlfriend kissed his cheek in return. "Why do you have to be so special, Roxas?" Namine asked, smiling playfully at him.

Roxas kissed her forehead. "Why do _you _have to be so special, Namine?"

On the other side of the slightly-ajar door, Larxene grimaced. Nudging Axel, she hissed, "Let's burst into song in front of them and embarrass them _before_ I throw up."

"Agreed," Axel purred, smirking. "How about a couple lines from _'Dancing Through Life'_?"

Larxene nodded quickly. "Let's do it now. I think they're getting mushier..."

Axel smiled and jumped up after Larxene. Following her, he waited until she started off.

_"Now that we've found one another,"_ she sang mockingly, startling the lovebirds, _"it's clear we deserve each other!"_ To Axel, she sang, _"You're perfect."_

Axel smirked at the play. _"You're perfect,"_ he assured, following the song.

Both sang the last of their piece. Axel walked behind Roxas; Larxene went behind Namine. Pushing the two together even more, the two adults sang, _"So we're perfect together! Born to be forever!"_

"Okay, okay," Roxas grumbled, lightly pushing Axel back. "That's enough. No more musicals."

Axel seemed to pout. "Aw, too bad. And Larxene and I worked _so hard_ to sing it to you two!"

"More like you two worked so hard to embarrass us!" Roxas returned, blue eyes trying to glare. Yet inside, he was kind of laughing. His best friend would go and burst into song in front of him and his girlfriend, while risking embarrassment himself? He had to admit, he had a great best friend.

Axel faked a dramatic bow. "Your welcome, buddy!"

Roxas couldn't suppress a laugh. "Alright, alright, what do you want?"

Axel put a hand on the teen boy. "Guess what? I'm going to be a match-maker!"

Roxas could only blink as his mind and brain tried to process Axel's statement. "You're kidding, right?" he finally replied. He blinked his blue eyes and waited for Axel to say that he was joking.

Axel shook his head. "Course not! Larxene and Demyx are coming with me! And I was hoping that you would come, too!"

Roxas tilted his head. "Wait. _Where_ are we going?"

Axel's face fell somewhat. "Uh... Uhm... We'll figure that out when we get there." He heard Larxene slap her forehead and groan.

Roxas smiled at his pyrokinetic friend. Sighing, he said, "Fine. But only because I want to see if you can actually pull it off."

"Great!" Axel said, eyes lighting up suddenly. "We'll go meet Demyx; he should be in the kitchen right now. We'll discuss who we'll get first when we get there." As he led Roxas out of Namine's room, Axel called over his shoulder, "Larx! You coming or what?"

Larxene lifted her head from where she had it bent over in a conspiratorial manner near Namine. "Yeah, sure," she replied. "Okay, Namine," the slim woman said airily, waving her hand dismissively. "Now you know how hamburgers are made, detail by detail. Try not to have nightmares, okay?"

Namine could only stare after Larxene as the lightning wielder disappeared through a portal. After remaining rigid for a few moments, Namine slowly made her way onto her chair; there she hugged her knees close to herself with one arm; the other was bringing her crayons and paper.

Namine spent the rest of the day silently drawing cows with smiles on, skipping through very green meadows without a care in the world.

* * *

**A/N: Yep, another fic, ahah. Not that I'm complaining. Besides, for me, it's good to start another story. But I still need to work on "Ruthless Facade" (C'mon, Lar-Lar, help me out here!), and "Dream Spell" is still kinda recovering from its 5-6 month hiatus. But all in all, we're all good here, and I hope you all enjoy this fic! **


	2. Business At The Bar

Axel slunk forth through the streets, his companions at his heels. The cold cobble stones were cracked and caked with ice, but of course the pyro didn't feel it.

Roxas, of course, seemed to be voicing his freezing condition the most.

"It's freezing out here!" the Key Of Destiny griped, hugging himself fiercely and rubbing his arms. "Why can't we go inside like _normal people?!"_

"Because, Roxas," Larxene said simply, turning her head to look at him, "there are many bars on either side of us, and we don't want the responsibility and guilt of an inebriated minor on our hands."

"You're not gonna bother even _faking _those two!" Roxas retorted. "Your sense of responsibility is equal to that of a drunken monkey, and you have enough guilt to start your own religion!"

"Why, you...," Larxene growled, but Demyx and Axel quickly clapped their hands and made exclamation noises.

"Hey," Axel said, stretching out the word, "let's slide on in to this bar; it's the least crowded one here!"

Demyx nodded at the two, not bothering to point out that it was just like all the other bars when it came to the number of occupants. "I'll bet it's warm in there, too, Roxas. C'mon, let's go."

Roxas sulked beside Axel, and the group walked into the bar without any trouble. Several pairs of eyes flicked to the small group of four, but soon paid them no heed, preoccupied with their beverages. Axel found a table at the far corner of the bar and seated himself, Demyx following shortly after. Axel frowned. "Where'd Roxas and Larxene run off to?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Demyx blinked and turned around. "Can't see them," he murmured as he turned back around. "Where do you think they ran off to?"

Axel shrugged, then said, "I dunno, but it's best not to leave them alone for too long when at least one of them is in a mood. You'd pretty much be spray-painting Vexen's lab or giving Xigbar a tranquilizer."

Demyx blinked, letting Axel clarify.

"In other words, all hell shall break loose if you leave Roxas and Larxene alone together and at least one is moody."

* * *

"Nah, I don't drink," Larxene said to the bartender, "but if you can give me some of that delicious red wine, that'd be splendid." She flashed a quick wink at the middle-aged man, and somehow she got her glass on the house.

Roxas stared. When the man left, he asked her, "How'd you get it for free?"

"Weren't you watching me, twerp?" Larxene asked after taking a small sip. "Anyway, what? You want a sip?"

Roxas blinked. "_You_ were the one who didn't want me drinking in the first place!"

Larxene gave a low chuckle, nearly confusing the boy. "I only said that because Axel and Demyx were right there. But hey, if you want a drink, you'll get one. It's the only way you'll learn..."

Before the Key Of Destiny could ask what she meant, Larxene beckoned the bartender over and ordered something to drink for Roxas. When the drink came to Larxene's possession, the Nymph slid it over to her left, right in front of Roxas. "What is it?" Roxas asked mechanically.

"Beer," came the nonchalant answer.

"Ew..."

"It smells funny, huh?" Larxene conceded. "It tastes funny, too. Take a sip."

Roxas frowned, but nevertheless took the huge mug and drank. His eyes widened almost immediately and he coughed, though he swallowed his mouthful. "Gross!" he complained, shoving the mug back to Larxene. "Why do they all drink this stuff, anyway?!"

Larxene shrugged. "It 'drowns out their sorrows', but makes them act like idiots." She finished her glass of wine and ordered another glass.

* * *

"Have you heard about that prince who lives in the castle, not too far north of here?"

Axel's ears pricked, and he and Demyx eavesdropped on the conversation of the two two drunkards over to the next table.

"Yeah," his companion slurred. "I heards he's quite the rude one. But maybe that's _acuz _he doesn't have anyone to love?"

Axel's grin widened in a conspiratorial manner.

The first man grunted. "Maybe that's because hardly anyone can even make it to his castle; there's dense wood between here and there. Not to mention the wolves."

"I'll bet," his friend offered, "if someone can get him a girl, he'd be happier, and maybe share some of his fortunes with everybody, especially all us poor folk! Say, why don't we suggest Gaston?"

"Gaston's a man, or are you too drunk to notice again?!"

"Wha...? _No!_ I mean we can send Gaston over to find the mean prince a girl!"

The first man sighed. "Bad idea. Gaston would probably take the girl for himself; if he didn't accidentally shoot her first."

The conversation soon drifted into nothing, but Axel was now grinning from ear to ear. "You hear that, Dem?" the pyro asked with quiet excitement. "Riches! We'll get that dude a girl, and he'll give us a reward! How desperate can someone get?!"

"Uh, I think you're wording it wrong," Demyx said worriedly. "That guy was just hypothesizing..."

"Oh, who cares? We'll get those riches somehow. All we have to do is find a girl. But first," he waved a finger in front of Demyx's face, "we have to check that castle out; maybe we can deduct what type of girl he likes."

Demyx shrugged and rose. "Now we just gotta go get Roxas and Larxene."

* * *

"You know what I mean?" Larxene asked hazily. "You know what it's like, to be the two lowest members in rank? I'm the only girl, and you're the youngest, and everybody pushes you around?"

Roxas looked back down to the Nymph leaning heavily on his shoulder. "Oh, I know what you mean," he said indulgently. "It bites sometimes; you don't really have a say in the matter when it comes to being ordered around."

"Oh yeah," Larxene slurred, the blush on her cheeks a pinkish red. "This is the reason why hierarchy systems don't really work in the end: we all eventually kill each other because of it." She gave a small hiccup, and Roxas shifted his shoulder for her to get a more comfortable position.

"Roxas?" Larxene asked suddenly. "Do you like somebody?"

Roxas gave a weak, sympathetic grin, like one who was trying to make the best of a situation. "Well, I don't like a _Somebody_; I like a _Nobody."_

"What's with the Italian accent all of a sudden?" Larxene demanded, frowning. "We already plundered that sweets shop in Venice; you don't have to use it anymore. Though I gotta say, Demyx had the _worst _Italian accent I've ever heard..." Larxene heaved a sigh and wrapped her arms around Roxas, still resting her head on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Roxas blurted, yet knowing in his mind that she was intoxicated.

Well, to put it more in retrospect, _drunk off her ass._

"Oh, just perfect," Larxene murmured. "I haven't felt this good in a long time, I think... You know what, Roxas? You _do _look like you're my kid! Remember when you pretended to be my kid when Demyx, Axel, Xigbar and I wanted to get into that one strip club?"

"Yeah," Roxas answered, suddenly remembering that incident. "The sign said 'Families Get In Free!'... Apparently you were my mother, Axel was my father, Demyx was my uncle, and Xigbar was my grandpa... Why did _you _want to go...?" Roxas asked suddenly, remembering that that club only had female strippers.

Larxene rolled her eyes. "I should think_ that _was obvious! I wanted the great food they had there!" She sighed blissfully and continued holding Roxas. Roxas wondered how she could actually pull that off comfortably; they were both seated on individual bar stools, and the boy figured that any other drunk who tried this would have fallen off already.

"Excuse me, young man?"

Crap, it was the bartender. Roxas gulped.

"You might wanna take your older lady friend off if she's that drunk..."

"Oh, it's all right, officer," Larxene drawled, looking up. "He's my son."

Roxas nodded, but inside he felt a tiny jolt; this time he knew Larxene actually thought he was her son.

The bartender nodded, frowning all the while. "If you say so, but don't say I didn't warn you if you get into a bar fight. And they're quite common here." He went back to his business, cleaning glasses that didn't need to be cleaned.

Roxas frowned worriedly when a hand clapped his shoulder. He whirled around instinctively, and Larxene managed to somehow catch herself on the seat before she actually fell. "Don't fight me!" the young boy cried, shielding his eyes with his arms. "I was about to leave to take my mother home!"

Axel frowned in a concerned fashion for Roxas, but Demyx was snickering behind the pyro. "You're mother?" Axel asked flatly, eyebrow now raised. "We're not in that strip club anymore, Roxas. You can drop the act."

"Axel?" Roxas breathed in disbelief, dropping his arms. "Why don't you _tell _somebody when you're gonna do that?!" he demanded, glaring at his best friend. "Oh, screw it and let's get outta here already!" He waved his hand in the air with a dramatic flash.

"Ooh, I think Marluxia woulda been jealous of _that _gesture!" Demyx said to Axel, who laughed when Roxas heard and glared.

Axel's expression changed quickly when he felt a slender hand on his shoulder; he looked to see Larxene supporting herself on him. "Don't tell me...," the pyro muttered.

"If you take us into a bar, Axel," Larxene laughed hazily, "it's a damn sure guarantee that at least one of us will get drunk!"

"She's got a point, you know...," Demyx concurred, and he grinned weakly at a frowning Axel.

Axel rolled his green eyes. Slinging Larxene's left arm over his shoulder, his right arm around her waist, he said to Demyx, "C'mon, we'll portal to that forest when we get outside, then we'll go find that castle."

"Hurry up, then," Larxene grouched, "or we'll lose sight of my kid up there walking out the bar!"

* * *

**A/N: Yep, I decided to make Beast's Castle the first target, though he's not a beast yet, of course.**


	3. Be Our Strangers

Roxas gazed up at the gargantuan castle from where he was standing on the other side of the black gate. The sky was dark, with not a cloud to disturb the path of the moon, which was at its zenith; dead trees frowned on either side of the establishment, with the occasional crow flying into the night. "It looks creepy," Roxas commented. "No wonder he doesn't have a girl!"

Demyx frowned. "Well," he tried reasoning, "maybe it's just to fool us. Maybe he only makes it _look_ scary. I'll bet that inside it looks awesome. You know, like one of those castles of old grandeur and archaic beauty..."

Axel stared at his musician friend. "That," he replied flatly, "or it's a run-down place with hardly a sense of decor. It's why a girl would never bother staying here. Hell, even _Larxene_ can tell you that this place would give a woman the creeps, and she's still wasted."

Larxene's head snapped to Axel's general direction, and her eyes tried narrowing. "I am not wasted," she said, nearly swaying but catching herself. "I'm just drunk. A little." The Not-So-Savage Nymph tightened her grip on Axel's arm to prevent herself from falling, but that didn't stop the pyro from grimacing at the contact of her nails digging through her gloves and into his coat, hitting the skin. "Say," she drawled, "why don't we just pick up that one chick we passed by earlier? You know, that one slim young girl with brown hair? It was tied back with a blue ribbon, and she had a matching dress of the same light color? Maid's apron? I think I heard someone call her Belle or something..."

Axel looked down at her; supporting her shoulders with an arm, he replied, "Ehhh... I don't think so, Larxene. She looked real young, or maybe that was just the snow blinding my eyes. But anyways, she just doesn't look the type for this guy."

"Look the type?" Demyx repeated, frowning in confusion. "We haven't even seen this guy yet! How could you know already?" Roxas mirrored the Nocturne's look to Axel.

The Flurry Of Dancing Flames simply shrugged. "Because I just know these things," he answered, as if this was as frank as the weather. "Besides, she looked taken; she was pretty cute."

"Like that lady at the pet shop?" Larxene asked with mock innocence. "Or that mother at the sweets shop in Venice? Or those strippers at the stripper bar?"

Axel noticed that the Nymph's tone was growing more... _acidic_, with each woman mentioned. Awkwardly, he returned, "Well, I'm quite sure this Belle person never owned a pet shop; I'll bet my imaginary pay check that she's not a mother; I'll be damned twice over if she's a stripper..."

He had phrased that last part on purpose, but his mind pricked uncomfortably when Larxene didn't initiate the second part of the intended joke: saying 'Let's damn you twice over then.'

Before Axel could frown in slight concern, Larxene kicked at Demyx's legs, and it was only due to her inebriated vision that she missed at all. She looked to Roxas next, who frantically said, "You wouldn't kick your son, would you?!" He sighed hugely when Larxene whirled around to hiss something at Demyx, who nearly cringed in confusion and fear of this woman who was escalating to an unknown rage.

"Okay, time to go into the spooky castle!" Roxas said hastily, grabbing Larxene's am and taking her through a portal, a wary Demyx and a confused Axel following.

* * *

"Holy crap," Demyx breathed. "This place is awesome!" He sprinted back and forth to view each of the castle's possessions for a close-up. The knights in suits of armor, the velvet red carpets, the exceedingly long hallways lit by the soft golden light of chandeliers... it all seemed to enchant the young musician. "How can a girl _not_ be lured in by all this?" he piped up loudly from where he was, which was some distance away from the rest of the small group.

"You gotta admit," Roxas relented to his friend across the hall, "the outside doesn't look very friendly..."

"Then I'll bet my ass that this guy's not very friendly, either," Axel scoffed, smirking.

Larxene looked to him with a cold expression. "You don't_ have_ an ass, Axel," she spat harshly. She spun clumsily on her heel and set off on her own, deeper into the castle.

Axel looked absolutely stupefied, while Roxas looked like he had just walked out of his house and two seconds later it exploded. The wide-eyed Key Of Destiny managed to close his slightly agape mouth to look at his friend. "Excuse the horrible pun, Axel," Roxas began unsteadily, "but do you want some ice for that burn?"

Demyx, who of course had not heard of word of that session, scampered back over to the two males. "I'm tellin' you, you were right after all, Axel!" Demyx quipped excitedly. "In a place like this, there's_ bound _to be some valuable stuff!" He suddenly frowned. "Where'd Larxene run off to? She get sick?"

Axel shook his head, grumbling something incoherently about women and alcohol never being allowed to be mixed together. So Roxas, being the best friend, looked to Demyx and calmly said, "Mother is upset right now. Please come again."

* * *

Approximately twenty minutes later, Larxene was earnestly pushed into a wooden chair, a tall, slim man smiling at her. "Axel?" she murmured loudly. "No, you're not him. You don't have his hair and you're not in black... Or is this a trick or something? Damn Axel, how'd you make yourself look older?"

The skinny man blinked in surprise, but immediately regained his composure. "No, mademoiselle, I am not whoever it is you think." He politely took her hand. "But I can tell you that I am Lumiere."

Larxene appeared confused. "Maybe I'm not used to your customs, but I was hoping you'd introduce yourself, _then_ break into song. Not the other way around... But that was a pretty creepy number. What was it? 'Be Our Guest'? Yeah, I think I just sobered up a little..."

A portly man rushed to Lumiere's side, and his expression betrayed that of vexation. "Lumiere, _must_ you always break into ridiculously catchy songs _every_ time someone comes to the master's castle?! You're beginning to frighten the young lady!"

"Oh, Cogsworth!" Lumiere scolded playfully. "I haven't broken into song in two weeks!"

"Our last guest came a month ago...," Cogsworth returned flatly.

Larxene's left eye twitched a few times before she tried rising. "Yeah, this has been lovely and all, but I gotta go home now. You know, the usual-- I'm not even gonna bother making excuses; I'm outta here." Before Lumiere could seat her once again, the door to the kitchen opened, and the master himself appeared in the threshold. The tall man stared coldly at her in his heavy blue robe, lined with wolf's fur. Larxene's eyes stretched wide, but seeing as she was still intoxicated, she grabbed an empty glass cup on the table beside her. Looking at the man through the bottom of the glass, she saw a somehow-clearer image of this man.

"Holy crap," she breathed loudly. "That's not a forehead; that's a _five_-head!"

The man looked startled before he paced quickly over to Lumiere, Cogsworth, and the slender woman looking at him through the bottom of a glass. He snatched away the glass and snarled, "Do not touch my stuff! My possessions have more value than you can ever muster in your lifetime!"

Larxene looked incredulous as she mumbled loudly, "Yeah, and I bet all that value's up in your billboard of a forehead..."

His face reddened, but Larxene was still too drunk to care. Not that she would've cared if she was sober, of course... Lifting her up rudely, he barked, "Leave this place! _Now!"_

"Make me."

* * *

"I still can't find Larxene," Roxas reported to Axel, who was slipping some stray golden necklaces into his coat pockets. "Aren't you worried?" the boy asked, as Axel then carefully placed some small jewels into his best friend's pockets.

Axel looked flatly at Roxas. "Rox, when you're around Namine long enough, you'll know that there are times when a woman must be left alone if she leaves in a sudden rage. Especially if she's been drinking."

"But I'm _with _Namine," Roxas returned, confused. "And I know that she won't drink, or leave in a sudden rage... Namine isn't a very good comparison for Larxene, y'know..."

Axel thought about this statement, then said hastily, "Yeah, you're right."

Demyx walked through an open threshold with an armload of jewelry boxes, grinning from ear to ear. "Check out all this stuff!" he whispered loudly, gleefully. "We--" Demyx cut himself off with a squeak and rushed back into the room; he quickly came back out empty-handed, trying his best to look nonchalant.

Axel and Roxas soon heard the source of Demyx's sudden behavior; the duo turned around and their eyes stretched wide when they saw the young man with Larxene slung over his shoulder, walking with a very vexed air about him. "Larxene?!" Roxas spluttered.

Larxene was pounding on the man's back, trying to aim her electricity at him; however, it kept flying everywhere _but_ at the man. One could tell that she still had some alcohol in her system... _"Nobody,"_ she spat loudly, "and I mean _no one_ man-handles me! You just wait! I'll throw my lawsuits on you and then you'll be sorry! My dogs are right over there and they'll _dog-maul_ your face!" As she said this last part, she shot a finger at the trio of men, who were still staring stupefied at the scene.

That is, until they registered that they were -in Larxene's own way- called upon to aid her.

Demyx rushed forward first, and Axel and Roxas were at his heels. "Hey, whoa whoa whoa!" Demyx tried hopping in front of the man's face, who in turn stopped at an abrupt halt; this caused Demyx to bounce in front of the man, and the musician stumbled back to fall on his rear. Roxas skidded in front of the man now, while Demyx rubbed himself with a small curse.

Roxas flashed an uneasy grin at the glaring man. _"Say_, so sorry for coming into your castle and all, but you see, my mother ran off and we followed her here. So you found her and all, congratulations!" He reached over to grab Larxene's ankles. "We'll just be taking her back now, heh..." He nearly squeaked when the young prince grabbed Roxas' coat collar and dragged him along, too.

This set Axel on alarm. Leaping over Demyx, he said hastily, "Hey, hey! We didn't mean to trespass! We were just looking for the kid's mom! Take it easy!" As Axel was struggling to keep up with the grouchy man while leaping sideways, something shined as it fell from the pyro's pocket. The man caught this flicker of shine and movement out of the corner of his eye, and his sharp face reddened as he saw the small necklace fall out of the pyromancer's pocket.

The next thing Axel knew, the side of his head had a fist slammed into it... Evrything started to fade into fuzzy visions...

* * *

Roxas and Demyx clumsily hauled Axel out through the gates after the man shoved them all out of his castle, shouting that he would never consider taking them into his home.

So naturally, he threw them all out into the raging blizzard.

Larxene stared, enraged, after the man's retreating form. "Wha- Wha...? What the hell is this?!" She spread her arms wide as she yelled, _"You just wait! One day_ _this'll come back to bite you in the ass, and then you'll be sorry!"_ The Savage Nymph, no longer so intoxicated that she couldn't walk straight, flashed open a portal and led the two males through, who were still dragging their unconscious comrade.

Larxene accidentally stumbled the rest of the way through her portal, and walked -rather stomped- around the corner of the bar she had come behind. Looking around for anyone who might have seen them, Larxene shook her head. "All clear," she reported to the boys, and they propped Axel up against the wall, as the pyro was beginning to stir. Growling in annoyance, Larxene shoved the two males aside and stared at Axel's face, which was beginning to show signs of life again. "Hurry up, Axel," Larxene said quietly. "We don't have all night for you to get out of your coma."

Axel blinked slowly as his vision readjusted, but when he saw Larxene looking at him, Roxas and Demyx peering over her shoulders, he managed to say, "I'm fine..." He shakily stood up, and Larxene's head quickly snapped to her right, and her eyes indicated that she was staring at something, or someone.

An old woman was heading towards them, and Demyx politely flashed a smile her way. "Oh hey there, ma'am. We were just helping our friend up; he kinda got slugged earlier." The back of his head prickled, feeling the glare from Axel's eyes burning him.

The old woman nodded and adjusted her hood, the cloak billowing around her ankles from the rushing snow. "Do you have a place for me to stay?" she kindly croaked. "I'm afraid I have nowhere to go for the night..."

Roxas blinked, finding words to politely decline her request, however much it hurt, when Axel stepped beside him.

"I'm sorry," the pyro said with amiable charisma. "But we don't have anywhere to go, either. _But_ I do know a place where I'm quite sure someone will take you in. Would you like me to show you there?"

"That would be very kind of you, young sir," the old woman said, allowing Axel to lead her through a portal of his own, seemingly paying no mind that this was a vortex opened up from oblivion and darkness itself.

Roxas, Demyx, and Larxene all waited there in the snow, staring at the spot where Axel had just vanished with the old woman. "Is he...?" Demyx furrowed his eyebrows.

"He'd better not...," Roxas replied with a groan.

"You know he is...," Larxene simply said.

A few minutes later, Axel returned, but alone. The smirk plastered on his lips was tell-tale enough.

"You sent an old lady to that _beast?" _Roxas asked frantically, blue eyes huge.

Axel shrugged. "I gave her some of those jewels that I hid in my boot, so it's all good."

Larxene slapped her forehead, which turned out to be a mistake; she withdrew her hand and groaned, her head beginning to pound from the hit.

Axel grinned at her. "You shouldn't be drinking too much, dear. You'll have a killer hangover in the morning."

"Oh, there'll be a hangover in the morning, all right," Larxene hissed. "I can already imagine the noose around your neck."

"Can we just go back to the Castle now?" Roxas whined, and Demyx nodded in agreement. "The biggest thing we accomplished tonight was send an old lady to that selfish, lowlife guy who probably doesn't even deserve a girl!"

Axel nodded after a while, noticing the chill in his young friend's form. "Yeah, sure, little guy. Let's go back."

Larxene shrugged. "And it's not like we did any good _or_ bad tonight anyway."

* * *

**A/N: Here you all go. I tried making this longer than usual, to compensate for the long wait. But I hope this was okay.**


	4. Sidetracked Street Performer

Axel paced the room in thought, ignoring the fact that Larxene was making bets with herself on whether or not he'll actually make a hole in the floor from all the walking.

"Ten thousand munny!" she cried out jubilantly, shaking her fists in front of herself as she leaned forward from her spot on his bed._ "Eleven thousand!" _Larxene laughed triumphantly as she punched her fists in the air, her legs kicking out as she rocked back on the bed.

Axel shot a sardonic look at Larxene, and marveled at how the woman could always find a way to entertain herself in nearly any situation. "Instead of betting with the voices in your head," he said, arms crossed behind his back as he paced some more, "why don't you help me figure out who we'll match up next?"

Larxene glared playfully at him. "Oh, the voices in my head say for you to go screw--"

"Help me out here!" he cut off.

Larxene took it the wrong way... on purpose. "One of the voices says that it's not proper. Something like that..."

Axel grumbled and slapped his forehead, groaning audibly. "You know what I mean, Larxene!"

Larxene grinned and nodded. "Axel," she said, still smiling, "why don't you just go and see that one girl? I think her name was Jasmine or something... Princess of Agrabah, I know that..."

Axel's eyes lit up; not bothering to say anything else, he quickly grabbed Larxene's hand and bonded through a portal.

* * *

"Let go, you jerk!" she spat loudly, wrenching her hand away. Axel turned around to look at her, his eager expression still plastered on his face; Larxene allowed her shoulders to sag as she sighed, "What's the plan?" She peeked over the rooftop they were on top of, and was slightly surprised to see the streets teeming with people, the aerial view making them look like crawling bugs on the dusty ground.

Axel tapped her shoulder enthusiastically. "We go to the princess and check things out! Obviously a princess needs suitors if she is to rule later on in her life! If we present her with a groom that the Sultan likes, bingo! We'll not only prove my match-making skills, but maybe we'll get paid for our good Samaritan services."

"What's a good Samaritan?" Larxene asked, incredulous.

"Of course you wouldn't know...," Axel grimaced.

"Like you wouldn't know what a virgin is?"

Axel frowned sardonically and wagged a finger at her face. "Alright, alright, let's get busy."

"If we're still on the subject," Larxene replied, arms crossed behind her back, "then I think you already did that a _long_ time ago..." She grinned maliciously.

"Dammit, Larxene!"

"Oh, you dog, you," Larxene said dismissively. She shrugged as she walked past him; when she reached the roof's edge, Larxene leapt down into the dark alley below, Axel not too far behind her. The Savage Nymph looked up and behind her, only to see Axel still on the roof top. Finding this as an opening to gloat, she said, "Cats always land on their feet."

The next thing she knew, she was sprawled out on the ground, her stomach pressed into the dirt. With the pyro sitting on her back, Larxene coughed while Axel said, triumphantly, into her ear, "And dogs always land on their cats."

Larxene grunted loudly as she squirmed out from underneath Axel, gasping. "Oh, shut up already!" she yelled as she heard Axel laughing.

"Sheesh, keep your fur down," Axel said loftily as he passed her. He grinned when she began following him, albeit silently and without a word. As they made their way through the market day hubbub, Axel began to wonder if they would ever get to the palace through all these masses of people. He then let his mind wander onto how he would find the perfect suitor for Princess Jasmine. It would have to be a man of class; maybe not status-wise, but one with a sense of regality and manners. This suitor also had to be able to treat women the right way, and not be someone that would make Axel's matching skills look bad...

Before he knew it, Axel was coming toward the palace gates. He first realized this when there were less people around him, and more quiescence about the place. He popped a fist into his open palm, saying, "Finally! We got to the palace, Larxene!... Larxene?" He whirled around. "Aw crap..."

He knew Larxene wouldn't have been able to stay so quiet for so long. The only way that was possible, was if she weren't there at all in the first place.

* * *

More people surrounded the stand as the woman pulled out more small knives from her sleeves. "Watch as I eat even _more!" _she cried, holding up her hand of kunai in a dramatic fashion. She isolated one knife from her hand and placed it, tip first, into her mouth. Bit by bit she made her weapon dematerialize until the trick made it seem as if she were swallowing the knife. She repeated the procedure until she 'swallowed' all four of the knives, receiving an uproar of applause.

Larxene grinned and bowed repeatedly while the urn she salvaged began to fill up rapidly with glittering coins. She straightened herself somewhat, her back arched as she held out her arms high, her legs pressed together. "I'd like to see someone else who can swallow forty knives and live!" she cried wickedly. She took one last bow and jumped off the crate, scooping up her heavy urn of coins.

Larxene began to walk away until she rounded into an alley. Quickly, she opened a portal and deposited her winnings into her room. Closing the portal, she sauntered back into open market streets.

Larxene barely set a foot down when someone ran her into the wall, but without so much force that it hurt. Larxene looked incredulous as she took in Axel's features looking back at her. "Oh hey," she said loftily. "Where'd you go?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "I should be asking _you_ that!" he retorted. "Do you have _any_ idea how long I've been looking for you?!"

Larxene rolled her eyes. "Five minutes, then you gave up? Then you happened to find me by chance and accident?"

Axel took a step back to get a better look at her. "No," he said flatly. "I've been looking for you ever since I realized you were gone, at that was when I reached the palace an hour ago!"

"Oh, that sucks," Larxene said, eyebrows raised.

Axel sighed roughly in exasperation. "Really, Larxene, is that all you can say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Like hell I know!" he returned, throwing his hands in the air. "Maybe some sort of thanks for me because I went out of my way to find you because I was worried!"

Larxene shrugged. "I just earned enough savings to keep me up for a month. But wait, you were worried?" She grinned viciously as she eyed the pyro.

Trying to save face from his slip of the tongue, Axel immdeiately replied, "About having to find a new Number Twelve to replace you? Yes!"

It seemed to be the wrong thing to say, for Larxene's eyes narrowed and she said tightly, "Well, now you don't have to worry about _'replacing'_ me. Hurry up, let's go find a man for this dumb goody two-shoes of a brat princess!"

Axel scratched the back of his head in bewilderment; nevertheless he followed the Savage Nymph, who tried kicking every young man she saw on her way to the palace.

She got thirty-three out of thirty-three.


	5. Jasmine's Preferences

"What a funny looking palace...," Larxene murmured as she looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hands, to gaze up at the structure. "I'll bet Jasmine's had tons of suitors; it's just that half of them probably got lost in that big place..." She whistled to herself, but when Axel nearly opened his mouth to say something, she quickly growled, "Alright, let's go."

As she walked ahead, Axel rolled his eyes and followed her, knowing that if the guards caught her breaking in, they'd likely get _him,_ too. Best not let her get caught, right? "Right. I say we go check out Princess Jasmine, then see from there on what kind of guy she'll most likely take."

_"You _can check her out," Larxene replied, hands on her hips as she looked back. "I'd much rather get this job done without checking out any women."

Axel chuckled and followed her through the conjured portal. On the other side, golden walls and smooth marble awaited them; Axel took his time looking around and taking in the scenery, his green eyes roving over the windows that revealed the city now below them. "Expensive taste," he mumbled. "We gotta think hard on this one..."

Larxene frowned in sympathy until she looked out a window. "How 'bout him?" she suggested, pointing downward. When Axel went to her side to look to where she was pointing, Larxene said, "That riffraff running from the shopkeepers? He looks a little old, though, but I can damn well bet he's got athleticism. And he's not too much of a looker, but he's not that bad-- Oh, never mind, he just got caught."

Axel sighed and shrugged. "Oh well," he said loftily. "Let's go see Jasmine."

Larxene was about to nod, but suddenly she froze momentarily, her ears straining to hear something. When she did, she quickly grabbed Axel's coat collar and dove behind a thick pillar near the window. Axel was about to protest, when the both of them heard the thick double doors open from behind them. Larxene pressed herself and Axel downward, hugging the shadows as well as the floor, trying to make themselves as scarce as possible. Caging Axel underneath herself, she managed to peek around without being spotted, and observed the three people walking down the hall and further away from the two Nobodies.

One was a..._ portly, _older man who was in the middle; the other was a much taller male dressed in dark clothing, a plump red parrot on his right shoulder; and the other was unmistakeably Princess Jasmine herself. Larxene could catch bits of the trio's conversation.

"Oh yes, indeed, Jafar!" the small man agreed fervently. "Of course you can be Jasmine's vizier when my time comes!" Larxene wondered how a man could talk so lightly and enthusiastically of dying if he wasn't one of those stereotypical 'begging-for-death' kind of people she's been hearing so much about.

The taller man nodded. "Splendid," he said, voice thick with the sound of sugar-coated honey. "I wouldn't want to neglect the Sultan's daughter when her father goes on. I like to think I'm a sort of surrogate uncle to her."

The Sultan jumped up eagerly, his white attire flashing their jewels. "And that would make me your brother! How clever, Jafar!"

"Yeah," a voice squawked grudgingly, and Larxene realized that the voice belonged to the red parrot atop Jafar's shoulder. "How _clever_, Jafar!" the bird said, flapping his wings and lightly kicking the black turban.

"Quiet, Iago," Jafar said lazily as the trio neared the next set of doors. However, Jasmine, who had said nothing, lagged behind until she stopped completely.

The Sultan noticed his daughter; he turned around and came up to her, his eyes glittering with fatherly concern. "Whatever is the matter, Jasmine?" he asked, concern laced in his tone.

Jasmine looked to him. "Hm? Oh, nothing, father. I was hoping to stay here and play a bit with Rajah, if it's all right?"

The Sultan frowned in thought before saying, "Of course, of course!"

Larxene watched the Sultan and the vizier leave, which left the princess seemingly alone in the hall. Moments later a large Bengal tiger prowled silently through the room, escorted by a servant, who quickly left. Jasmine smiled gladly when the tiger pranced toward her; purring like a machine, the feline rubbed his head under Jasmine's chin.

Suddenly Jasmine sighed. "Oh, Rajah," she said remorsefully. "Father's been pressing me about my suitors even more lately..." She cupped the tiger's face and stared into his dark, understanding eyes. "The law says I must marry before my next birthday, but I don't want to choose because of the law. It's unfair. I want to marry for _love..."_

Despite wanting to puke, Larxene listened to the woman talking to her feline friend.

Jasmine went on. "I've never done anything on my own. I want to do at least _this _by myself: to fall in love and marry my soul mate."

Rajah made a noise of sympathy in his throat and put a large paw on her shoulder, for she had knelt down to be at eye level with him. _"Mmmrow...,"_ he rumbled deeply.

Jasmine sighed and smiled lamentably. "At least my next birthday is still a ways away..." Jasmine sighed and led Rajah through the hall and through the double doors her father and Jafar had taken earlier. Larxene sighed loudly and stood in her position, contemplating on what she just heard.

That is, until Axel finally made himself heard.

"You know, as much as I like having your you-know-whats pressing into the side of my face, GET THE HELL OFF OF ME ALREADY!"

Larxene burned and obliged.

* * *

"Right," Axel said as he walked through the market streets with his female companion. "Jasmine wants to marry for love and not law. Damn, that'll be tough..." The pyromaniac cupped his chin in thought as he passed several shop owners who were trying to sell him carpets. "There's gotta be a guy out here for her..."

Larxene looked up suddenly. She spotted an isolated part of the city through all the dense crowds, and her intrigue was sparked. Axel turned just in time to see her moving. He only had time to follow her, and eventually the noise died away; the pyro found himself staring up at a rooftop that had apparently caught Larxene's attention. "What're you looking at?" he asked incredulously. "It's just another rooftop."

Larxene frowned, still looking up. "No, it's not...," she mumbled, and leaped up into a cloth awning. She gained higher ground until she was a rooftop just below the one she was so intent on investigating. Axel sighed and followed, so that soon he was once again by her side. Larxene jumped, reaching the rooftop; Axel followed once again, and saw that there was a ragged piece of cloth covering an entrance. The Savage Nymph nodded to him and lifted the cover, slipping through silently, knowing that Axel was behind her.

She knew he was behind her, because when the monkey jumped out at her and screamed, she reeled back right into him, sending them both to the ground.

"Abu!" a male voice scolded loudly, and the monkey was scooped up. "They're obviously not guards!"

Larxene sat up, confused and startled out of her wits for a split second. "What's with the monkey?!" she exclaimed.

"What's with the big lump on my chest?!" Axel cried out. "Get off, Larxene!" When the woman obliged again, he rose and dusted himself off. Sighing raggedly, Axel looked at the young stranger, noting the white pants and the purple vest, even noting that little red cap on his head of black hair. "Uh...," he began awkwardly, "this is your place, I assume?"

The man nodded. "Yeah, you could call it that," he said modestly, shrugging. "My name's Aladdin," he introduced, putting forth his hand.

"The name's Axel," the pyro replied, taking the hand and shaking it briefly. He motioned with his thumb behind him. "And that crazy wrap of insanity is Larxene."

She glared at him, and Axel grinned.

* * *

Abu the monkey didn't like Aladdin in such close proximity of women, even if they weren't trying to do anything. The simian kept shoving Larxene's feet every time she happened to step withing a three foot radius of the young thief, even when she was just passing him by. Of course, Abu had no problem with Axel, but he didn't like him in particular, either. "So what brings you guys to this place?" Aladdin asked after awhile as he sat on the small steps leading to a cloaked window.

Axel shrugged, nonchalant as he leaned against the wall. "Oh, you know, just checking things out here and there. Looking at the market and whatnot." An idea sparked into his head. "We even saw the princess, too."

At that Aladdin's eyes glowed with innocent interest. "You saw the princess?" he asked, and Abu looked up from where he was trying to crack a nut. "I've never seen her before... What'd she look like?"

The Flurry Of Dancing Flames smiled with faux bliss. "The most beautiful woman I've seen in a long time. You just want to get lost in her chocolate-brown eyes... She'd fit perfectly in your arms, too..." The pyromancer hugged himself to emphasize his point. "You want to give your heart to her just to make her happy... You'd give anything to see her happy... to see her smile... And she's one of those few remaining women who just want to marry out of _love..."_

The more Axel spoke, the more Larxene simmered, and the more Aladdin's eyes widened with sheer wonder. "I'd _love _to meet her," the thief awed. Abu rolled his eyes and covered them with a paw.

Axel swung an arm around his shoulder. "Then I'd go get her, if I were you! Don't wait and then see someone else grab her!"

Aladdin nodded fervently and jumped to his feet, Abu making a noise of surprise. "I gotta get at least a glimpse of her!" he declared excitedly.

The Flurry Of Dancing Flames clapped his hands. "The go and get that glimpse! Come on, we'll lead you out!" Axel shoved Aladdin out of his home and encouraged the young man to follow his dreams. When Aladdin left, Abu at his heels, Axel turned and sighed. "Damn, that was easy!"

Larxene grunted and rose. "Okay, we're done, we can go now," she said, voice low.

Axel raised an eyebrow. _"Someone's_ grouchy," he noted sarcastically. "The heat getting to you?"

"Why, yes it is!" Larxene returned, knowing that Axel missed her double-meaning after viewing his clueless look. She growled in annoyance and vanished through a portal.

Hastily, Axel followed, wondering if that Aladdin character would have a chance with Jasmine.

Nah, probably not.


	6. Swimming in Anticipation

* * *

Demyx stretched his torso across the table, sighing raggedly in front of his muscular colleague. His eyes looked up to Lexaeus, and his sea-green orbs shimmering with sheer, epic boredom. "Lexaeus?" Demyx whined, hoping to ease the bored mood inside him. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

The Silent Hero stared with minute suspicion at the young musician as he slowly replied, "What is it...?"

Demyx grinned with childish innocence as he asked, "Do you believe in love?"

Lexaeus grunted with mild surprise. After a long pause, to which Demyx would not stop staring expectantly at his comrade, Lexaeus finally sighed. "Yes, I _do_ believe in the emotion of love. But I do not believe that we Nobodies can feel it."

The Melodious Nocturne frowned at that last part, until he came up with another question. "Say, do you believe in marriage, then?"

"No," came the flat and immediate reply.

* * *

Axel knocked fervently on the door, demanding entrance; Demyx raised his head from where he had been concentrating on his sitar strings. Straightening himself, Demyx was about to clench the doorknob when Axel simply opened the door himself, nearly hitting the Nocturne in the face. "You took too long to answer the door," Axel said as he flopped down on the bed.

Demyx had been following Axel with his eyes, and thus did not see Roxas when the musician slammed the door. When the boy cried out in frustration and mild pain for his foot, Demyx's eyes widened and he hastily opened the door, to which he hit his own foot. Roxas shot him an offended look as Demyx held his foot in the air slightly, grimacing in quiet pain. "Serves you right for slamming the door on me!" Roxas pouted, crossing his arms.

The Melodious Nocturne sighed loudly and said, "Okay, guys, what do you want?"

Axel rolled onto his back, grinning. "Aw, look, Roxas. Demyx doesn't wanna see us!" His young companion faked a dramatic gasp.

Demyx waved his hands in front of himself. "Naw, I didn't mean it _that_ way!" he reasoned quickly. "I just wanted to know what was on your guys' minds!"

Axel's grin turned mischievous, and Demyx felt his spine prickle with the prospect of possible adventure. "What?" he asked slowly.

"Well, water-boy," Axel began, coming up to snake an arm around Demyx's shoulders, "Roxas and I have just explored a world, and we think we've got a possible target. But see, the reason we came back is because we thought you'd _love_ to come along."

Demyx raised a light-brown eyebrow. "Why?" he asked cautiously, hoping Axel wasn't trying to pull his leg. On the bed, Roxas grinned in anticipation.

"I'll give you a hint," Axel said enticingly, his arm sweeping the space in front of them both. "It's wet and musical."

Sea-green eyes lit up as Demyx gasped and said, excitedly, "Sea World?!"

"What kind of Sea World are _you_ talking about?" Axel asked flatly after a short pause, a red eyebrow raised. Shaking his head, he clarified, "No, you idiot! _Atlantica!"_

Now fireworks went off in Demyx's eyes, and he seized Axel's shoulders with innocent enthusiasm, much to Axel's incredulous chagrin. "Atlantica?!" Demyx repeated excitedly. "That's so awesome! Let's go _right _now!" Demyx looked to Roxas, who gulped, fearing a death-hug from the Nocturne; instead, however, the boy only recieved a tug on the sleeve, albeit a rather rough one. "C'mon, Rox, let's get going!"

Axel left Roxas to Demyx, and slipped outside the room, saying he'll be back in a few.

* * *

"I'm not going," came the automatic response.

Axel sagged his upper torso in exaggerated disappointment. "Oh, it won't hurt you, Larxene," he reasoned. "Roxas and Demyx are going, so you should go, too. It keeps the group consistent."

Larxene looked down at the pyro from where she was standing on the kitchen counter, scrounging for something good to eat that the higher-ups probably hid. "What does consistency have to do with the group?" she challenged as she rummaged in the back of the cupboards, in the top shelves.

Axel shrugged. "We need a good mediator?" he tried, grinning sheepishly.

Larxene rolled her eyes as she discovered the beef jerky that Saix had carefully hid-- right behind the box of tofu, the substance no member of the Organization would touch. _"I'm_ likely to be the reason you guys will need a mediator, you dipstick."

Axel sighed. "Just come with us, Larx," he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Say it, first...," came the slight trill of sneaking triumph.

Axel's eyes widened. "Oh hell no, Larxene. Please don't have me say it."

"Say it."

The pyromancer sighed raggedly, shuddering on the inside as he mumbled what he was supposed to say.

_"I can't HEAR you...,"_ she practically sang in response.

_"Larxene goes to college and Axel goes to Jupiter, you happy?!"_ the man loudly -and hastily- replied.

"Thank you, _crap-tard,"_ Larxene responded, voice slick with poisonous honey.

"You're welcome,_ bitch-face,"_ Axel replied, voice grudgingly low and filled with sarcasm.

* * *

"Larxene came, right?" Demyx asked as he swam three enthusiastic front flips in the grotto they had portalled to. "I thought I saw her when you came..."

Axel eyed the blue dolphin Nobody as he rolled around in front of him. "Uh... yeah...?"

"Well, I can't see her," Demyx replied as he poked the red, sharp dorsal fin of Axel's shark tail.

Axel whirled around, looking for Larxene; he only saw Roxas, who had swam into a rock on accident. His grey-blue dolphin's tail was still struggling to regain control.

Demyx looked to his fiery companion. "Huh. Guess she ran off."

"She _swam _off, you dumbass."

* * *

**A/N: 'Girls go to college, to get more knowledge... Boys go to Jupiter, to get more stupider.' Crappy skipping song that I absolutely LOATHED while in elementary... Sorry it was so short; my hand started acting up a bit...**


	7. Family Complications

Axel was at the head of the group, peeking around a tall pillar and into the empty chamber, staring at what appeared to be some sort of throne. "Crap, he's gone," the man hissed irritably, tail flicking. The chamber was silent, the sea behind it empty as well. "He must be out," the pyro concluded idly, brows furrowing on how to work on a slight change of plan.

A shoulder nudged Axel, and the pyro turned his head to see Demyx grinning up at him. "What do you mean 'he'?" the younger man asked. "Who are we hooking up?"

Suddenly Roxas' eyes grew rounder as he caught a glint of gold near the throne, and he saw an object in a more miniature throne-like seat. Blue orbs tracing the body of the golden staff, Roxas looked to the forked end and its multiple spikes. Tugging on Axel's tail, the Key Of Destiny asked, "Axel, what's that?" He pointed to the shining object.

"Hm?" Green eyes flicked to the forked staff. "Oh, I've heard about that," he answered matter-of-factly. "It's supposed to be the Trident." He flashed his hand in a bored, dismissive gesture. "It gives King Triton his almighty powers over the sea, blah blah blah, and whoever holds it is granted unlimited power, blah blah blah..."

Roxas paid intense attention to his best friend, curious about the Trident. Demyx, however, looked at the Trident with a different intrigue...

"You could _totally _play that as an instrument!" the Melodious Nocturne quipped loudly, aqua-green eyes wide with enthusiasm.

Axel cast an odd look on his face and peered with wary curiosity at his friend, who simply returned the look with that expression of excitement. "Uh, how 'bout we just leave it alone?" Axel suggested non-rhetorically, grabbing on to the musician's tail fin, jerking him back. "Anyway, we'll just wait for King Triton to come back, _then_ we'll hook him up!"

Roxas' head jerked up at that to look at his fiery friend. "King Triton?!" he repeated._ "King_ King Triton?!" When Axel nodded confidently, the boy asked, frantically, "What makes you think we need to hook _him_ up?! He's got a trident!"

"Well you know," Axel drawled, "a trident can only be so good of a company after a while. This guy's got seven daughters -count 'em- _seven_ daughters, and not a wife to help him with that_ or _the kingdom of Atlantica!" Red tail fin swishing with mild triumph, Axel added, "I say we get the lonely guy a girl to spice up his life. Give him a little zap, y'know?"

"Speaking of 'zap'," Demyx said curiously, looking behind him, "is Larxene still not with us?"

"Have any of us suffered recent brain trauma, mental or physical?" Axel countered.

"No..."

"Then she's obviously not with us."

* * *

Larxene was indeed not with the male trio, yet she was still in the world that Atlantica inhabited. In fact, the Savage Nymph was just about to consider stabbing her own ears after hearing that atrocious soprano attempt coming from the young mermaid a ways ahead. Larxene grit her teeth in endurance from her spot above a flat rock, as she was 'forced' -as she put it- to watch this stranger practice her singing. The redheaded mermaid's voice gained a higher note, and Larxene could have sworn she saw a drop of red coming out of her own ear...

Oh, thank the heavens, she stopped! Larxene heaved a silent sigh and tried mentally recovering her... _'fragile' _sanity, when the mermaid swam up to the lightning wielder in two enthusiastic movements from her green tail fin. "Well?" the mermaid asked, whom Larxene remembered had introduced herself as Ariel. "How was I?"

Larxene's eye -as well as her razor yellow shark's tail- twitched minutely. Running two fingers up one of the straps to her light blue clam bra, she finally said, "That a baritone or a tenor...?" And yes, Larxene purposefully mentioned the _male_ vocal classes...

Ariel didn't seem to notice; she shook her head, eyes lit with stars, and quipped," No, silly! I was practicing to be a soprano! You know, the highest vocal class you can get to!"

_Yeah, and you ain't reachin' it anytime soon, sweetheart,_Larxene thought bitterly, KEENLY aware that Ariel was trying to take firm hold of her wrists to swing her around in a circle. "A soprano, you say?" she said aloud, evading Ariel's grasp. "Sounds lovely; but you sound more like an alto to me." _Well, you actually sound more like a 'sap-o', but I don't have to deal with you for long. _Taking a running-out-of-patience breath, Larxene said, "You need a hobby, child."

Ariel blinked young blue eyes at the stranger. "Like what?"

Larxene figured that, since this girl was a mermaid, a massive profit should be on her head for whoever hooks her in-- er, captures her... A crafty light flickered in the Nymph's eyes. "You ever wonder what it's like up..." Larxene pointed upward. "...you know, up there...?"

The mermaid swam upside-down in circles around Larxene, finally saying, "Mm... Up there? Well, Daddy says that all the good mermaids and mermans go there, so I think it's quite nice!"

The Savage Nymph groaned and slapped her forehead. "No, I'm talking about somewhere more accessible... The surface."

Suddenly stopping and flipping over to properly face Larxene, Ariel's eyes grew round as saucers. "The surface?" she repeated in awe. "I've never really been up there; Daddy says it's dangerous that I should never go up to that place! There're_ humans_ up there!"

With one blond eyebrow raised, Larxene was careful in forming her next sentence. "Oh, but not ALL humans are bad! Some are really nice, and some have kind hearts."_ That probably taste something awful..., _she finished in her head. Continuing, she said, "Besides, there are _tons _of things up there that aren't down here! Like uh, uhm... How about you go see and find out, eh? _Take your time!"_

Finally, Ariel seemed to buy the Nymph's persuasion; she said, "Oh, I will, I will! It sounds so exiting!" And the young mermaid turned green tail and sped up to the surface of the water, while Larxene bolted away and back toward Atlantica's palace.

Even though Larxene would not be a part of it, she had started the young mermaid on a fascination for the surface and its humans that may very well border on obsession.

* * *

"It's in the making, baby," the pyro crooned to the young mermaid as he swam around her, like that of a predator and its encircled prey. "You'll make the king happy, and you'll _also _get to help rule Atlantica." After saying this, Axel nodded encouragingly at the young, black-haired mermaid. "Come on, whaddya say? What have you got to lose?"

Before the confused girl could protest, Axel seized her slim wrist and took off toward the throne with her. Demyx and Roxas, who were swimming at a much slower and calmer pace, exchanged incredulous looks with each other.

"You think he'll pull this one off?" Demyx asked, eyebrows furrowing.

Roxas shook his head. "To be honest," he replied uncomfortably, "I don't really know. I mean, that girl kinda_ looked_ like King Triton..."

Before Demyx could reply, a figure crashed into Roxas from behind, causing the boy to cry out in surprise. Turning around, Demyx's eyes followed Larxene as she struggled to hold on to the struggling Roxas, whose head was in a lock within her arms. "What are you doing, Larxene?" the boy demanded through short gasps.

Larxene, however, first quickly stroked the boy's hair for self-reassurance, after finally securing the boy firmly from behind. "I'm your mother, got it?" she ordered hastily, then looking to Demyx. "Isn't that right, _brother?"_

Demyx, immediately catching on, nodded obediently. Just after, a small red object of sorts came into view, swimming fervently toward the trio. The Nocturne figured that this was what had probably put Larxene on edge, and therefore swam slowly to the red figure, which turned out to be a crab. "Is there something wrong?"

The red crab put out his bottom lip and cried out, in a stuffy, afronted voice "Why, yes there is!" A large red claw was aimed at Larxene, who was still holding on to Roxas, much to the boy's confused chagrin. "_Dat_ woman has disrupted my orchestra recital, and I have no time for lolly-gagging! _De_ king wants a good recital for tomorrow's festival, and I intend to go _troo_ with it!"

Now of course, Demyx had a hard time not laughing at this crustacean's accent; nevertheless, he managed to say, "Sorry sir, it's just that she's a little enstranged, and she sometimes doesn't know what she's doing..." The young musician pointed his thumb behind him, in Roxas' general direction. "Just ask her son." When Roxas nodded fervently, while Larxene continued stroking the boy's hair in quick, scalp-flattening motions, Demyx flashed a weak grin at the red crab.

The sea creature continued frowning suspiciously at the young man, until he finally huffed and gave Demyx a 'verbal warning', which consisted of pinching Demyx's tail, causing him to yelp loudly. Just before the crab opened his mouth again, another figure bowled into Roxas -and Larxene, too, this time- from the other direction.

Axel looked frantically to the trio, shouting, "Hurry up and let's get outta here!" Quickly grabbing Roxas' wrist, the pyro hauled his buddy away as fast as he could; of course, the Key Of Destiny was still attached to Larxene, and the Nymph was therefore dragged along as well; to complete the chain, Larxene decided to seize hold of Demyx's arm, and all together the chain of outsiders swam out of the main palace halls, aware that King Triton was close behind them.

_With_ the Triton in hand...

"What'd you do?!" Larxene demanded as Axel led them on.

"Never... _NEVER...,"_ Axel shouted, emphasizing the second 'never' immensely, "try to set up a father with one of his daughters!" After a few frantic turns, Axel managed to lead his chain behind a tall, shadowed building of coral, King Triton swimming past. Panting, Axel counted to see if all were still present. "Right, all three and a half of us are here."

Roxas frowned.

Then Demyx turned to Larxene, who had finally let go of Roxas. "How _did_ you disrupt the uh, orchestra practice...? I'm almost afraid to ask, but tell us..."

Larxene scratched the back of her head, but the grin was still there, oddly enough. "Well see," she began smoothly, "it wasn't... just_ me_ who disrupted the practice..."

Demyx frowned. "So who else--?"

_"SHARK!"_ a random denizen screamed.

Larxene sucked in her lips, blew out a short breath, and breathed,_ "Yeah..."_


	8. Three Hyenas And A Cub

_"I'M A LION!"_ he cried out jubilantly, jumping up as he bounded through green grasses, sunlight dappling the ground where it broke through the savannah's trees. _"I'M_ _A LION I'M A LION I'M A LION!" _he continued screaming. Spinning around, Roxas yelled out to Axel,_ "I'M A LION!" _Ignoring his pyromaniac friend's look that suggested Roxas needed medications, the Key Of Destiny spun left and right, ears flattening with excitement.

Padding up behind from behind Axel, a lithe lioness rumbled sarcastically, "He's a lion? Well, so is every other flippin' carnivore here!"

Axel rolled his green eyes and shook his red mane; looking at Larxene now, he grinned. "Well, you forget the cheetahs and hyenas, Larx," he corrected.

Larxene rolled her eyes, antennae bangs swishing. "I meant the carnivores that _matter." _

At that last note, the two heard an excited outcry that brought their attention to a speedy feline racing up to them. "Hey guys!" Demyx quipped as the cheetah skidded to a clumsy halt in front of his companions, dirt flying forward a bit.

"I stand uncorrected," Larxene said stolidly, shoulders hunched.

"So what are we doin' here?" the musician asked, tilting his head, grinning innocently while Roxas, in the background, jumped up into the air, maybe trying to catch butterflies, who knows. "Are we settin' up some lions today?" The feline leaned forward in eager anticipation, waggling his eyebrows.

"I have no frickin' clue," Axel confessed, smiling weakly. "This was the first place that came to mind when I portalled..." Shoulders hunched against the light breeze, Axel turned his head to see a distant rock-like structure against the horizon. His green eyes blinked, but nonetheless the pyro looked back to his two present companions. "How about we check things out over there?" he suggested, grinning as his thick tail swished side to side on the dusty ground. The words were hardly out of his mouth when Demyx sped right past him, striped and spotted tail streaming behind the fast feline.

Red mane still swishing from the fast run, Axel stared at nothing in particular until Larxene walked past him, flicking his face painfully with her tail. Following Demyx's trail, she said resignedly, "Hurry up, before Demyx gets himself skinned."

Axel blinked back to reality in order to follow his companion, unaware of his best friend jumping after that butterfly and away from them, toward a dark and shadowed area...

* * *

"What are you supposed to be?" Demyx asked incredulously, frowning as he used his newly enhanced nose to sniff the frightened and cringing creature. Nosing the furry little guy now, Demyx's aqua-green eyes flashed with curiosity. "Are you some sort of rat?" he asked innocently.

"Uh, I-I-I DON'T KNOW RIGHT NOW!" the mystery-creature screeched fearfully, bunching up his fists to his little face. _"I'm a little meerkat!"_ he explained loudly.

Demyx picked up the little guy gently by the scruff his neck with his sharp teeth, causing the meerkat to squirm in renewed fear. _"You're purdy shmall fur a cat,"_ the Nocturne mumbled through a mouthful of fur. _"Are you shum kinda shub-speecheese?" _

Still squealing, the young meerkat thrashed in fear, trying to escape those bloodthirsty jaws. _"Let me go!" _

Suddenly Demyx felt his head smacked from behind with a cuffed paw; he let out a squeak and therefore dropped the frightened meerkat, who wasted no time in scurrying into a small hole in the ground, disappearing with a dusty poof. Blinking out of the daze, Demyx whirled around, prepared to run the other way, when he only saw Axel's exasperated expression, a paw partly over his feline features. "Oh, hey, Axel," Demyx said casually, sting on his haunches to scratch an ear with a hind leg.

"Got fleas already?" Larxene's voice inquired, grinning scornfully, yet her eyes twinkled with playful mischief.

Demyx set his foot down. "No. I just thought I should do that out of reflex."

"Because_ that_ makes a lot of sense," she retorted, walking past the young man. "Think we should check out that big rock?" she asked now, turning her head back to the two males. "Maybe there's intelligent life over there."

Axel made a move to follow her, when Demyx suddenly thumped his foot down again; he had been scratching his other ear with his other foot. "Hey, I just got a feeling that we forgot something...!" he breathed incredulously. As Axel and Larxene waited for him to remember, the cheetah suddenly did. "Oh yeah!" he piped up. "We almost forgot how we'll set up our match-making statuses! I'm Larxene's brother, and Axel has to be the brother too, this time!"

"Huh?" the lion asked. "How come?"

"Because Roxas isn't with us," Demyx answered matter-of-factly. "You're only Larxene's lover-slash-husband when Roxas is around and playing as your guys' son."

Axel and Larxene simultaneously made an 'o' shape with their mouths, indicating that they understood perfectly. Now all three turned to walk back towards what they didn't know was Pride Rock.

Well, until Axel cried out one single word:

_"ROXAS!"_

* * *

_"AXEL!"_

Roxas scurried through elephant bones as he took a quick glance behind him: the three hyenas he had literally run into were still on his tail, definitely no pun intended. _"Leave me alone!"_ the young lion shouted, eyes shut tight now as he sped on through the bones. Racing past the hovering walls of rock and the mountains of scattered bones, Roxas never knew that he was careening right into a flat face of rock.

At least, he didn't know until he ran smack into it...

Blue eyes watering, Roxas rubbed his nose for a good moment; now, spinning around, Roxas arched his back slightly and backed himself into the wall. When the hyenas skidded eagerly to a stop in front of him, Roxas bared his teeth and snarled weakly.

The sole female in the group laughed loudly, followed by her two other male companions. "Check this little guy out!" she quipped, large bangs bouncing near her forehead. "Do it again! Come on."

Indignant, Roxas tried to roar, but it scared the hyenas none. The smarter-looking of the two males prowl up to the Key Of Destiny, prodding him in his side. "Eh, I think this guy's kinda bony, don'tcha think, Shenzi?" He missed Roxas's dropped jaw and look of disbelief as the canine look to the female hyena.

The female -Shenzi- laughed, putting a paw on her muzzle, red tongue lolling out. "Too_ 'bony'?!"_ she laughed. "Banzai, he looks like a regular good ol' cup of noodles! Look how he's shakin' now!" She busted up laughing again as she pointed to Roxas, who was indeed beginning to shake again, realizing how close he was to three sets of sharp and powerful teeth crunching into him.

Banzai snickered loudly with her. "Hah, hey! We can find a boiler and have us a potluck roast! Whatchu think, Ed?"

The one who had yet to speak finally guffawed into laughter, tongue flying down as he laughed and rolled onto his back with Shenzi. Banzai sat on his haunches and took the paws of the terrified Roxas; moving the young boy on his hind legs, Banzai playfully jeered, _"Hippity-hoppity all the way to the kitty boiler!"_

"The kitty boiler?" Roxas repeated, gulping, tail twitching. _"Oh, Kingdom Hearts, not the kitty boiler!"_

"Relax," Banzai scoffed, trailing out the word in false exasperation. "We're just gonna invite you to dinner with us!"

Ed laughed, and Banzai shot him a look that told the hyena to shut his trap before their dinner acted up again.

Suddenly Roxas thought of frantic idea: pull a match-making Axel. "Why eat me," the boy began hastily, "when you can find love?"

"Can you eat that?" Banzai asked, looking down incredulously at the cub he was still holding.

"I hear some insects and arachnids do that," Shenzi offered as she walked up to them both, Ed following behind her. "But what's he spoutin' about?"

Banzai shrugged cluelessly when Roxas spouted, "Yeah! I can help two of you! You two!" He manage to motion with his head to Banzai and Shenzi. "You two look like you're in secret love! I can help bring you two together!"

A silence ensued, blanketing the elephant graveyard. Finally, Ed couldn't contain his laughter, and he completely cracked, rolling on his back, clutching his stomach and sides in extreme laughter.

Shenzi could only raise an eyebrow until she finally looked to her confused companion. Holding up a paw to conceal her mouth, but not her voice, she said to a closely leaning Banzai, "He must not know that all three of us are siblings..." Banzai nodded slowly, both still looking at the now-awkward Roxas.

"Either that or he's into the whole 'trailer park' theme...," Banzai murmured loudly. They looked at each other, then at a weakly smiling Roxas, then back to each other again, saying as one: "Kitty boiler."

* * *

**A/N: I thank Zaz9-Zaa0 for suggesting the Lion King as the next world; personally, I was stumped on what world to try next, so it was a big help. But hah, I was trying to figure outwhat the group would do when they got there, and I threw myself knee-deep in Lion King research, going through tons of resources on everything that happened before the first movie, like on Scar and Mufasa's past and all that. But, since the majority of it was still a bit sketchy, I decided not to delve too deep. But yeah, Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed are indeed siblings. Cuz hey, otherwise they PROBABLY would've ditched good ol' Ed somehow already.**

**Oh, and I guess cheetah Demyx has been properly established by someone, so I just wanna say that I'm not trying to claim anything on his form or whatever. Demyx just seems like the whole cheetah form; would rather flee than fight, not as strong as a lion, but lithe and swift.**


	9. Flapping Flipjacks And Flaming Tails

Axel practically flew through the grasslands, following Roxas's scent trail; at his side were Demyx and Larxene, the latter of which wondered why Roxas had to go and be a brat, getting himself lost like that. Soon enough, the trio came to a shadowed area, and the felines instantly felt the chill that seemed almost supernatural.

Larxene wrinkled her nose in distaste as soon as the scent of death wafted to her nostrils. Not that she wasn't used to that smell -she'd been around that smell every occasion here and there- it was just that the wave was like something tangible this time. In fact, it was so strong, that as she was walking, she ended up tripping over her paws because of the smell.

Of course, that was _after_ Demyx and Axel themselves fell over from the smell.

_"Flappin' flipjacks!"_ Demyx spouted, regaining his composure, yet not knowing his speech mix-up. "That's some crazy perfume!"

Axel shook his mane, walked next to Larxene, and... _assisted_ her by hoisting her up by the tail. Eyes wide, Larxene shot up and yowled; sitting on her haunches, she examined her tail with one paw. She turned her head to see a grinning Axel near her face; growling, she swung a heavy paw at his face, and she watched him voluntarily topple over on the ground. "Don't do that again," she said flatly.

Demyx, meanwhile, had padded silently ahead a ways, getting past the territory smell to locate Roxas; finally, his ears perked. "Hey guys," the cheetah whispered quickly, "I hear something. Hear that?"

The two lions both stopped to lend an ear to the air; indeed, they began to distinguish frantic squeals from far ahead. "Who the hell could that be?" Axel asked slowly, not willing to believe that the squeals were coming from Roxas.

"Oh, that's Roxas," Larxene answered, nonchalant.

Axel made a start of incredulous surprise with his facial expression. "No way," he retorted.

"Way," Larxene sighed, deadpan.

"That _can't_ be him!" Axel begged, throwing a pawed thumb past himself. "That sound like a kitten crying over spilt milk!"

"Well, it _is _Roxas," Larxene returned, shrugging.

"Okay, what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Your face."

Axel recoiled in offense, until he returned the retort. "Oh, really? And how do _you _know that's Roxas?"

"Cuz he's my son," she answered, as if this were the easiest thing to comprehend. Like the creation of the universe.

Simple comprehension, right?

"Well then he's my son!" Axel argued. "That gets us nowhere still if we're playing the parent act!"

"No, I'm filing for divorce," Larxene threw back, smirking triumphantly. "I get Roxas and you get the car."

"We don't have one!"

"The marriage counselors didn't know that."

"That's not fair!"

Demyx sat on his haunches and compulsively scratched his ears. He figured it would be a while before those two finally decided on whether or not those pitiful screams-- er,_ cries of distress_, were in fact Roxas or not.

So why not just check it out, the cheetah figures?

But of course, he thought it'd be best if all three of them went together...

* * *

Roxas, meanwhile, was crying his tail off to avoid getting tossed into the kitty boiler, which was in fact one of the various boiling pits throughout the graveyard. Shenzi was laughing as she held the Key Of Destiny suspended by his neck fur. Banzai was trying to figure out how to throw Roxas in: tail first so that the fire goes up the tail like a fuse to dynamite -for laughs- or to dump him in head first so that Roxas will shut up. Ed, meanwhile, was pouring some sort of indigenous seasoning into the boiler.

"I don't wanna go!" Roxas begged, wriggling and kicking out fiercely. "You can't eat me!"

"Why not?" Shenzi challenged, grinning.

"Because I'm fat!" Roxas retorted, forgetting to take into account that these were_ hungry_ hyenas.

"Yeah, all the better to eat you for!" Banzai barked, rolling his eyes and he clapped his paws for Shenzi to hand over the dinner.

"Wait!" Roxas tried again. "At least tell me what part of me each of you guys will get!" Once again, Roxas was trying to save his hide; maybe the canines will get into an argument over what part of Roxas they'll each get.

Unfortunately, these three were the through-thick-and-thin kind of siblings.

"Oh, that's easy," Shenzi replied, throwing a fanged smirk. "Banzai gets first set of legs, I get the torso, and Ed gets the rest. It's pretty even when you think about it!"

Roxas gulped.

"Now then," Shenzi said happily as she tossed Roxas like a rag doll over to her brother, "time to go!"

Banzai snickered loudly as he dumped Roxas into the kitty boiler.

However, staying true to the last minute cues of rescue, a thundering roar reverberated throughout the caves. Eyes wide with paranoia, the three hyenas all turned their heads to the sound. However, their faces fell into gales of laughter when the only saw a lone cheetah standing on a rock above them. "What was that?" Shenzi howled, clutching her stomach. "I thought it was a lion!"

Demyx's ears twitched as he opened his jaws wide again. When he did, another lion's roar crashed down again.

Again, it startled the hyenas. "Stop doin' that!" Banzai scolded, glaring at the cheetah. "You're not a lion, you're a cheetah! Cheetahs can't roar!"

Tail swishing delightedly, Demyx quipped, _"I_ can!"

"Who are you?" Shenzi asked suspiciously, craning her neck upward.

Demyx's face fell slightly, but thanks to Axel's quick -and spontaneous- thinking, the cheetah was quickly and quietly supported with an answer.

"Scar!"

The hyenas all looked as if they had just seen their leader himself... Well, in their point of views, that's probably who they were thinking about.

Axel, meanwhile, was sitting on his haunches just below the rock, behind Demyx, laughing silently. When Demyx's tail deliberately brushed the top of his head, Axel let loose another startling roar. When Demyx's tail tapped his head, Axel stopped. Larxene, sitting next to him, looked idly up at Demyx until the cheetah began speaking again. Now, she looked to the pyro.

"I say we chase 'em out now," she proposed.

"Hah," Axel chuckled. "Great idea." Instantly flipping to his paws, Axel ran by Larxene's side; flying out of the shadows with a roar, the duo grinned with glee as they took in the hyenas' horrified expressions as they leaped onto the scene and in front of them.

_"Whoa!"_ Banzai cried out, scrambling and stumbling over his own paws. "Let's get outta here! There's real lions!"

Axel marveled at how fast a frightened hyena could run, since their back legs were significantly shorter than their front ones. Heck, before he knew it, the three were gone, yelping in their run. Blinking, he said, "Well that was easy."

Demyx leaped down from his rock and quipped, "That was so cool!"

Before Axel could gladly respond, the three heard a forgotten yowling.

_"You guys are jerks if you're gonna let me run around on fire!"_

All three turned to face the burning Roxas... Well, it was only his tail that was aflame, but that didn't stop Roxas from freaking out, especially since he just narrowly escaped from being eaten.

Larxene shook her head sadly while saying, "Sit on your tail, boy."

"Are you crazy!" Roxas panted as he ran in several circles. "That'll set the rest of me on fire!"

Shaking her head, Larxene padded forward before Axel could stop her. Sitting down in Roxas's path, she waited until the cub was just about to pass her; she mechanically stepped on his tail.

"Yeow!" Roxas cried, now trying to tug his tail from underneath her heavier paw. "Let go of it, Larxene! My tail's on fire!"

Rolling her eyes, Larxene lifted her paw, sending Roxas careening backwards.

"Now look at it!" Roxas demanded, holding up his tail. "It's... It's... not on fire!"

"Sadly," Larxene sighed.


	10. Savages And Clay Aiken Dogs

"Oh my hearts," Demyx whined. "I'm hungry!"

"You don't have any hearts," Larxene snapped back as she bounded nimbly over a rock to cross the small stream. "Much less _a_ heart, come to think of it." Shaking her foot to get the water off the boot, she waited next to Roxas, who had already crossed, and the two waited for the last of their entourage to cross as well. Demyx actually crossed easily enough, go figure; Axel decided it would be fun to get his feet wet. As the pyro trudged through the cold stream, he warmed his body temperature to the point where steam was blooming and rising from around his boots.

"Do you _have_ to do that?" Larxene grumped, crossing her arms and tilting her head.

"Yes," Axel retorted, shuffling his feet to encourage more steam. "Because I can."

The pyro spent a considerable two minutes steaming up the stream, until Roxas couldn't take it any longer. The boy quickly removed his boots and socks, running to the stream to jump in. Unfortunately, as soon as he hit the water, Roxas yelped loudly and leaped out of the water, not thinking that he needed his feet to run as he held them... while trying to run. Stumbling onto the cool grass, he looked directly up at Larxene's incredulous face. "The water's_ hot_," Roxas explained through clenched teeth.

Larxene dropped her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "I wonder why," she said flippantly, hoisting the boy up to his hot feet. She snickered when he yelped and leaped about comically for approximately three seconds. "Alright, Axel, out of the water."

"You're not my mom," he retorted childishly, stomping his foot down to make a splash.

"Thank Kingdom Hearts I'm not," Larxene threw back, "or I'd be sorry as hell for dropping you on your head."

"You must be a crappy mother-- _hey!" _Axel blinked, startled, as he stomped out of the water, sensing that he was beaten this round.

Or at least, he _would_ be beaten in this round if it continued.

* * *

"Ha anybody bothered asking where we even _are?"_ Roxas asked as he avoided a swinging branch that Larxene let go of. Unfortunately, it smacked Axel square in the chest, and the pyro made a noise of quick pain as he rubbed the slapped spot.

"Has anybody bothered telling you that there aren't any people _around?"_ Larxene retorted as she went through a thick slab of bushes.

Roxas grumped an acknowledgement as he went through after Larxene, followed by Demyx and Axel; the two bumped into the back of Roxas, who had bumped into the back of Larxene. "What gives?" Axel asked, until he looked at what his companions had been staring at, which he couldn't understand how he had missed it in the first place. Before the group was a small shoreline, and approaching the said shoreline was a massive ship, white sails raised high. "Larxene," Axel said steadily, "I think they're coming for you."

"Why would you say that?" the woman asked, never taking her eyes off of the curious vessel of a ship.

"Because right now, the color white reminds me of the loony bin," Axel answered, still eyeing the white sails.

Larxene made a face while her shoulders slumped.

"What?" Axel asked, discomforted by the silence.

That is, until Larxene slugged him in the chest, making him crash down onto the sandy ground. "Kingdom _Hearts!"_ Axel swore, rubbing his chest. "What _is _it with you loonies and hitting people?!"

Shrugging, Larxene said flippantly, "It helps us vent out the craziness."

"Um, guys?" Demyx said uncertainly. "I hate to break up the bull fight, but I think that ship's coming to shore... _This_ shore..."

"What do you mean by bull... Crap," Larxene hissed as she saw something on the closing ship that the rest of the group didn't see.

"What?" Axel asked, hastily getting up to stand next to her. "What is it?"

"There's a fat guy at the head of the ship," Larxene stated flatly. "That means he's probably the either leader of the crew, greedy, short-sided, pompous, or all of the above."

"Way to stereo-type it, Larx...," Axel said, looking at her with a raised eyebrow and an incredulous expression on his face.

"Can we hide or something?" Roxas asked nervously, edging between the two Nobodies. Looking up at Axel, he continued by saying, "They don't look rather welcoming." Indeed, Roxas saw two burly men having a fist-fight, never knowing that it was just play among them. "I think they'll do that to _us_ if they see us..."

"Oh, that's too late," Demyx cut in. "The fat guy Larxene saw just pointed to us... Wait... Holy crap, he saw us!" At his last statement, Demyx hid behind Larxene, debating on whether to use her as a hiding spot or as a shield.

On the other hand, there was nothing the not-so-cowardly Larxene could do but wait until the crew aboard landed and approached them; Axel looked to Larxene, and when he saw that she wouldn't budge, he sighed and stayed put as well; Roxas stayed next to Axel, seeing that the pyro had chosen to stay also.

* * *

"Do you know English?" the portly man asked, eyeing Axel in a scrutinizing manner.

"Uh, I understand you, sure," the pyro answered, eyeing the silly little dog in the crook of the man's arm. The tiny little thing seemed to resemble the finely dressed man before Axel, and it even looked at Axel in a snobbish way as well. "What's with the dog?" he couldn't help asking.

The man couldn't help recoiling slightly. "This is my companion _Percy!"_ he said loud, indignantly.

"Looks like a dog version of you," Roxas put in innocently.

Turning red in the face, the man introduced himself. "I am Governor Ratcliffe! And I'll have you know that we have weapons that my men have permission to use on savages like you!"

At this Larxene gave a start. "Savages?!" she repeated. "Look who's trying to dress that dog like Clay Aiken!"

Ratcliffe gave a start of his own. "I do not know who this Clay Aiken is, but I'm taking that rude comment as an insult!"

"And I'm taking your figure as a fact that you don't exercise much."

Red in the face, Ratcliffe turned his head to see the skinny man behind him. "Get these savages tied up and locked in the ship! I'll deal with them myself right now!"

Nodding enthusiastically, the man ran back to the ship while Ratcliffe turned to the group again. "And maybe then you'll be able to tell me if this land has gold nearby," he said dangerously.

Axel made a face as he put his chin on Larxene's shoulder. "Gold?" he repeated. "What year is it in_ this_ world?"

Ratcliffe rolled his eyes and replied scornfully, "Oh, I could never expect your kind to keep time the way we English do. The year is 1607."

"I don't like the tone he used," Demyx said sulkily, peeking out from behind Larxene.

"Arrogant, pompous bastard-- Wait, 1607?" she asked her companions. "No wonder he's never heard of Clay Aiken!"

Axel nodded in humorous agreement as Ratcliffe heard their rather audible conversation. Axel's green eyes sparked at the governor, taunting the man through their supposedly innocent conversation. "Oh yes, we know lots of stuff that you don't know!"

"Uh, Axel--" Roxas whispered, elbowing his ribs while looking ahead; strong men were running towards them with ropes and guns.

"Not now, Rox. Anywho, Ratface, I also happen to know just where the gold is!"

Roxas slapped his forehead and groaned.

Larxene slapped Axel's forehead and he groaned.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the atrocious wait, heh... I _was_ gonna try Mulan, but I figured I should wait a little more before using more worlds in the KH games. I realized that the first three scenarios the group go into (Beauty And The Beast; Aladdin; Little Mermaid) were very off in the chronology. Here's how:  
1) Beauty And The Beast: The Beast was... well, _already_ a beast before Roxas was born.  
2) Aladdin: Aladdin and Jasmine already knew each other before Roxas was born.  
3) Little Mermaid: Ariel was already obsessd with the surface before Roxas was born.**

**SO, I came up with an easy solution to this irreversible mistake:**

**_The story is slightly AU._**

**Problem solved! But in the future, I'm going to read up and look back on things before I put the worlds in. I haven't seen my copy of the first KH since my aunt took it to borrow. About 2 1/2 years ago.**


	11. Axel's Big Mouth And Quick Improv

Larxene is not in the mood for us to dive into her point of view of this escapade right now.

Well, actually, she's just really pissed. _Really._

Axel could definitely see this, as well as feel it; the pyro was sitting right next to her, and could feel her just boiling and simmering there on the bench they were forbidden to move from. Demyx and Roxas, lucky ones they were, were sitting on Axel's other side, and keeping well away from leaning any closer to Larxene, even if the pyro was between them and the nymph. The group remained rigid while the ship's crew hustled back and forth, unloading items such as shovels and pick-axes and coming back for what looked like types of guns.

"Is that a shot-gun?" Demyx inquired, hoping to break the silence between themselves.

"Nah," Roxas replied willingly. "I think those are muskets or something... But why would they need those? I thought they were just looking for gold..."

The Nocturne shrugged. "Who knows? All I wanna know is when we can get off this place."

"We _won't_ be getting off for a while," Larxene said, acid dripping from her tone. Smacking Axel's shoulder with the back of her hand, she growled, "Dimwit right here made sure of_ that."_

Axel looked skyward self-consciously.

"Honestly," Larxene continued, clenching her hands, "could you have kept your mouth shut? We don't even _know_ if there's any gold or whatever in this place!"

Roxas looked to her. "But if that's the case, what'll they do to us when they find out we lied? Or that_ Axel_ lied?"

"Thanks, Rox," Axel mumbled mutinously.

Demyx scratched the back of his head. Playing with a strand of his mullet hair, he said rather uneasily, "They'll probably shoot us or something for lying to them. We _are_ savages in their eyes, after all, for whatever reason..."

Axel's green eyes brightened for a moment; snapping his fingers, he said, "They don't _have_ to find out we _-I-_ lied!"

"And how are we going to pull that off?" Larxene asked bitterly while the ship began to rock slowly due to the crew running back and forth on it.

"Easy!" Axel chided playfully as he patted her back, to which she grimaced at. In a whisper among the group, he said, "We just lead them on and then get the heck outta this place!" He grinned at the woman, hoping she would react instead of looking like she was getting--

"Hey, Larx?" Demyx asked, curious. Waving a hand in front of Larxene's face, the Nocturne asked, "What's up all of a sudden? You look kinda pale..."

"She _is _pale," Axel scoffed, crossing his arms. "That's her natural skin color. _Duh."_ Rolling his eyes, the pyrokinetic never bothered to investigate as to why Demyx would point out Larxene's skin color after knowing her for so long already. Next

"No, ass-hat," Demyx snapped back softly, so as not to be overheard by the crew. "I mean she looks-- well now she looks a tad green." Demyx frowned in worry as Roxas tried peeking over the musician's shoulder with a look on his face that said 'I wanna see! I wanna see!'

"Okay, seriously, Demyx," Axel scolded childishly, "Larxene is not a chameleon-- say what?" Blinking, he turned his emerald gaze toward Larxene, who was hugging her knees to her chest and trying to stare off into space. "Larx?" Axel asked cautiously, lightly poking her shoulder. "You okay? You look like you're gonna be sick or somethin'..."

"Nah, I'm good," she said, trying not to strain her voice. "Just... go on with your plan or whatever it was you were saying..." Her eye lids nearly fluttered closed altogether as her stomach acted as if it wanted to try a back flip.

Axel made an incredulous face as he leaned back to look down into the water below them.

"You okay?" Roxas asked, raising a blond eyebrow at Larxene.

"Shaddup," Larxene drawled, growing annoyed. A strong gust of wind blew at the sails of the ship, and though it was anchored, the vessel still rocked slightly. However, it was enough that Larxene cupped her mouth.

Axel noticed this and slowly allowed his mind to piece things together; suddenly his eyes widened slightly, while the side of his mouth twitched slightly. "Oh," he said flatly, eyeing her. "I see what's going on now."

"H-Huh?" Larxene stammered, feeling her nausea coupling with anxiety; and to anybody who has experienced these two at the same time, _knows_ it doesn't feel very nice.

Suddenly Axel was standing in front of her, pointing his finger near her nose. _"Who knocked you up?"_ he demanded.

"Huh?!" Larxene blinked in general surprise. What the hell was this man talking about?

"I'm serious!" Axel continued, while Demyx and Roxas stood up at an approaching Ratcliffe. "Who was it? Tell us, and_ I swear to Kingdom Hearts Demyx, Roxas, and I will beat his ass!" _

Larxene could only stare at him, one eye twitching, while the other one remained wide open. Then, "Huh?"

At this time Ratcliffe had come upon the group; however, before the governor could speak, Roxas happened to get a good look at Larxene for the first time. Wearing a look that said 'You dumbasses...' the boy said, "Oh, for crying out loud, she's not knocked up! She just gets sea-sick!"

Larxene twitched, wishing that Roxas hadn't said that fact aloud. "I will kill you later," she hissed, and the Key Of Destiny smiled weakly.

Ratcliffe cleared his throat, and all four heads snapped to attention. "Now that you four are done _babbling,"_ he began arrogantly, "you will show me and my men where the gold can be found."

"And if we don't?" Axel retorted cockily.

Larxene managed to spin him around and slap him square in the face; the pyro stumbled onto the wooden ground. Looking up at Ratcliffe, Axel replied, in a much more compliant tone, "Uh, I mean sure, we'll show you. I mean, what do _we_ need it for, right? We're just savages."

_"Very_ cooperative savages," Ratcliffe corrected, earning himself a chuckle. "Well then, what are you all waiting for? Lead us to it!" He ushered Demyx and Roxas toward the plank to get off of the ship. "Hurry up, you two," he called to Axel and Larxene. "I don't want to leave savages all alone on _my_ ship!"

"Sheesh," Axel huffed, hoisting himself up and dusting his legs. "What a guy, eh? Not surprised Clay ain't with him right now. Probably ran off when he got the chance. Can't really blame him, dressed up like that; there can be far worse things for a dog than the pound, I say..." realizing he was going of in a tangent with himself, he turned to see Larxene stumbling up to stand. "You gonna be alright?" Axel couldn't but ask.

"Yeah, sure," she answered hastily, walking slowly toward the exit of the ship before she had to hear Ratcliffe's annoyingly pompous voice, as she liked to label it. The ship swayed slightly once more, making Larxene's knees buckle and her hands hold her stomach. The woman felt clammy and uncoordinated; she was about to sway herself, when she felt a hand steadying her by the shoulder. Looking to the side, she saw Axel motioning with his thumb toward the dock ahead of them, where they would get off from.

"What's the matter?" he taunted playfully. "Don't tell me a little stomach-ache is gonna keep you from walking!"

* * *

"Where are those buffoons?" Ratcliffe asked angrily, shielding his eyes from the sun to look upon his ship. "Does it take them both that long to dismount from my ship?"

Demyx, in-between several of Ratcliffe's men, raised his finger slightly. "Um, they might've gotten lost?" the young man offered, and Roxas smacked his forehead and groaned.

"We're savages; not stupids!" the boy said, slightly exasperated.

Ratcliffe growled and snatched a pistol from the nearest man; the governor was about to march toward the vessel when they all heard a shout. Demyx and Roxas knew the cry to be Axel, and before either of them knew it, they saw the pyro himself falling off the side of the ship and into the water. When the splash sounded, both looked at each other and made a sympathetic "Oooooh..."

Ratcliffe, mouth agape, watched as Larxene walked off of his ship and toward them, while Axel splashed his way to the surface dripping wet. Gasping for air, the Flurry Of Dancing Flames stumbled onto the sand and threw himself there to dry. That is, until he realized that all the grains were sticking to his wet attire; jumping up, the pyro spontaneously combusted to blaze the sand off, forgetting that he was in front of Ratcliffe and his men. This fire-show startled them all into silence after a gasp in unison.

Larxene saw this and slapped her forehead.

"Great...," Roxas mumbled.

"Seize him!" Ratcliffe cried out, pointing toward Axel, who simply looked bewildered until he realized what he had just done. In mere seconds the pyro was surrounded by men, guns poised at his head.

"Yeah," he said, dragging out the word, "this isn't exactly what I had in mind as an escort while I show you the gold..."

Ratcliffe huffed. Why should we believe you now, _demon?"_

"Oh, now I'm a demon!" Axel rolled his eyes, exasperated. "You and your seventeenth-century paranoia!" Waving his hands in the air, he saw Demyx, Roxas, and Larxene ushered into the circle as well. "Personally," Axel continued, "I like being a savage better."

"He_ acts_ like one half the time," Larxene grumbled, and Axel elbowed her harshly in the ribs, making her choke in reflex, tongue sticking out.

"Well then," Axel hugged, feigning offense, "I guess you don't wanna know where all the gold is!"

The men looked uncertainly at each other, wondering if they had set out here for naught.

Noticing this, Ratcliffe sauntered in front of Axel, beginning with, "Where _is_ the gold?"

Crossing his arms, Axel turned his head to the side in a showy fashion. "I don't know if I should tell you now; you've offended me quite rudely. I'm not a demon; the fire came from some matches I had."

"Wet matches?" Roxas whispered in Demyx's ear. The Nocturne shrugged, hoping the governor would buy the explanation.

Perhaps it was the greed for wealth, but whatever the reason, Ratcliffe leaned his torso back in a superior fashion, eyes twinkling. Twinkling like fat stars, in Larxene's opinion. "Well," the governor huffed, "I suppose we could trust you to show us the way; after all, what would you need it for?"

"What makes you think it's here in the first place?" Axel mumbled as a retort. Larxene elbowed him in the ribs painfully, making him produce the same reaction she had made. "Just joking," he told Ratcliffe, voice strained. "We like to joke around a little, too, y'know... I'm just saying that it's not on this _island."_

At this new piece of information, the men all cast astonished expressions on Ratcliffe; even Larxene, Demyx, and Roxas turned bewildered looks, but toward Axel, who simply look nonchalant.

One man stepped forward and walked across to Ratcliffe. Pushing back his black hair, he said, "Wha' does he mean, gov'ner? Is there no gold here?"

"Well, like I said," Axel interrupted, "not on this island."

Another man, this time with reddish-brown hair, spoke up. "So...which island is it on?"

Axel looked past the men, toward the shore; making sure to take his time, the pyro pointed farther away, to an island in the distance, across the water on the left. "That's right! That was the island that was said to have this shiny yellow metal stuff! If anything, it should be the gold you're all lookin' for!"

The men began to murmur in excited whispers amongst one another, lowering their guns in the moment. Even Ratcliffe seemed rather jubilant at knowing that the treasure was so close at hand. "Excellent!" he cried out, smiling avariciously. "Well, men, you heard the savages!"

"Now we're back to being savages," Demyx grumbled, crossing his arms as the men dispersed from around them.

"Would you rather be demons?" Roxas returned, looking around him.

"Get back onto the ship and find that gold!" Ratcliffe ordered, pointing toward the distant island.

"Whoa, hold on!" Axel said, leaping in front of the advancing men. "You don't know what's on that island! We heard that there are savages on that island who are far, FAR worse than us! They woulnd't hesitate to kill you if you trespass on their land! But if it seems that they're being kind to you, don't trust them! They're just trying to lull you into a false sense of security, and then they stab you in the back with their weapons!"

Raising an eyebrow, Larxene turned her head toward her other two companions, who simply shrugged at her in equal puzzlement.

Ratcliffe and his men appeared startled at Axel explanation of the inhabitants. "No matter," the governor huffed. "We'll simply return to England." He turned to face all of his men. "And come back with better arms and more men!" he finished, to which the men all cheered and wore fixated expressions of determination.

"Gov'ner!" one man said, steeping forward. "If they're really as savage as this savage says, why don't we recruit John Smith then? He'd be a wonderful asset to our expedition!"

Rubbing his chin in thought, the governor made a noise in his throat, indicating that he was mulling over the suggestion. Finally, he answered, "I believe you have a great idea there. very well, we shall see if he's up for the task. Now then. On, men!"

Dodging out of the march, Larxene and Demyx looked at the crew as they rushed back onto their vessel; Roxas, however, went on the other side of the march, though Larxene noticed that he seemed hunched over for some reason. When the few remaining men were walking toward the boarding plank, Larxene finally got a good look at Roxas, next to Axel; the boy was definitely hunched over, cradling his arms around a tell-tale lump in his coat. Sighing in exasperation, Larxene walked over to he Key Of Destiny. She put her hands on her hips and eyed the boy, in a way that spoke for itself: she knew that he did something that he wasn't supposed to do. And he knew that he wasn't supposed to do it.

"Roxas," Larxene said flatly. "Gimme the dog."

Roxas looked up at the woman, and wore an expression that suggested he wanted to disobey and try to keep Percy anyway. However, upon seeing Larxene's eyes, the boy crouched down, and the next instant Percy crawled out, looking as if he nearly suffocated. Larxene scooped the dog up and held him in the air; scrutinizing his stuck-up expression, Larxene breathed loudly, _"Damn,_ I swear you're Clay Aiken's dog somehow! Like you got sucked into this time period or something somehow!"

Axel took the dog from her hands and sent the dog through a portal, and onto the ship. Which probably nearly gave the dog a heart attack, but Axel wasn't going to ponder on that. "Okay, seriously," Axel grumped, crossing his arms. "There were absolutely _no _chicks whatsoever!"

Rolling her eyes, Larxene looked to him. "So how much of all that blasphemy was true? About that islandhaving savages andall that gold?"

"Hm?" Axel raised his eyebrows as if just remembering it was he who had said all those things to Ratcliffe and his men, who were beginning to set sail once more. "Oh, all that? Pfft, I just bullshit all that! Like I would know any of that stuff; I just said it so they'd leave us alone!"

Demyx blinked in surprise. "Wow, that was some good impro, then!"

Roxas, meanwhile, stared after the ship for a while longer before saying, "I wanted to rescue that poor puppy..."

* * *

**A/N: Ahah, see? If it weren't for Axel's big mouth, John Smith wouldn't even BE in Pocahontas, and therefore no Pocahontas movie!**

**Hope you guys liked the extra-long chapter (almost 3000 words!); I thought I'd make up for my long wait to update this chapter.**


	12. Cool Dogs And Hot Dogs

**A/N: Many thanks to Zaz0_Zaa9 for giving me the suggestion of using the Disney movie I'm about to write about in this chapter!**

**And I don't own Coca-Cola.**

**---**

Demyx threw himself onto Axel's bed, and the impact made Axel bounce into the air to land on the ground.

Would've been fun, if Axel hadn't been _sleeping._

"What the hell was that for?" Axel snapped, lunging for Demyx's throat, comically strangling the younger man. "I was _sleeping,_ you musical little--"

"Whazzat for?!" Demyx choked out loudly, kicking out. "I was gonna tell ya that we're supposed to go to on a mission together!"

At this news Axel let go of Demyx's neck, to which the Nocturne gasped in relief. "A mission?" Axel repeated, furrowing his eyebrows. "Where?" he asked, taking a seat on the bed as he pushed back the covers he had been slumbering in.

Demyx helped the man fix his bed as he said, "We're supposed to check in on a world called Earth."

Making a face that told of disgust, the fire-wielder grumped, "_That_ place? Well, where on Earth are we supposed to go? That place has a lot of territories...."

Demyx shrugged, nonchalant. "It's a big city kind of place. You know, kinda like our own but...it's got people and daylight...."

"Los Angeles?" Axel guessed. "Please don't let it be that place; I'm getting sick of the smog..."

"Nope," Demyx grinned.

"San Francisco? Despite the fact that it's slowly sinking..."

"Try again," Demyx piped up.

"Tokyo? Though if I have to put up with seeing _one_ more Godzilla caricature...." Axel grimaced.

"Er, try guessing a city in the United States territory," Demyx helped, smoothing down part of the bed covers.

"Don't see what's so united about it...," Axel mumbled. After another second's thought, Number Eight guessed, "Uhm, Washington D.C.?"

"We're not allowed there anymore, remember?" Demyx reminded. "Ever since Larxene said that there were Communists in the White House in front of live TV. To prove her 'statement', she hopped the fence onto the White House grounds and said she should've been caught by now...."

Axel, upon remembering the incident, made a small muffled noise of amusement. "Oh yeah," he chuckled. "Those people'll believe anything they hear!"

Shrugging, Demyx said, "Though we're going off on a tangent. The big city we're going to is New York City."

Axel immediately snapped his fingers. "Of course!" the older man exclaimed. "How could I forget New York?!" he asked himself, eyes lighting up. "Who else is coming with us, officially?"

"No one else," Demyx supplied, tilting his head. "But I assume we're bringing along Roxas and Larxene?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

* * *

The noises of the lively, crowded city surrounded the atmosphere; cars and people alike teemed the streets and sidewalks, going about their daily business, used to their busy way of life. Among them, four figures dressed in usual black slithered through the masses until one of them noticed a large sign on a building to his left. Pointing at it, he said, "Axel! Look, it's that soda I like so much!"

Axel, turning his head to cast a glance at the Coca-Cola signRoxas was pointing at, replied, "Yeah, so?"

"I just got a craving for one!" Roxas returned, blue eyes shining.

Sighing roughly, Axel said, "Damn sign. I bet that's your intention, huh? Putting yourself right in front of everybody so that they'll buy your kind! You don't impress _me!"_

Face molding into something like confusion, Roxas stared at Axel -who was shaking a fist at the Coca-Cola sign-until he felt a slim hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Larxene looking down sympathetically at him. "I just wanted a soda," Roxas put in, incredulous.

Nodding in understanding, the Savage Nymph said, "Oh, I know. It's just Axel probably forgot his meds this morning."

Upon hearing this statement, Axel retorted, "The only one who needs meds is you, Larxene!"

Grinning at the man's slight chagrin, Larxene patted Roxas's shoulder. "Ah well," she said dismissively. "Let's go get Roxas a soda; it'll be like a baby to a bottle of milk."

"Yeah-- HEY!"

* * *

Roxas guzzled down his desired beverage while the three adults walked down a less crowded sidewalk. As he did so, he adjusted his shoulder's hold on the brown backpack he was carrying, which held the everyday supplies and necessities of him and his friends. Generously passing his soda bottle to Demyx, the boy inquired, "Why are you and Demyx supposed to be here, Axel?"

"Hm? Oh, just to check the place out, really. Though, there's hardly ever Heartless around this place. Xaldin told me they like Los Angeles better, for some reason." Larxene, beside him, turned her head to him and shrugged. As the group continued their little traverse, their sense of smells soon came into contact with a hot aroma of food.

"Holy crap, smell that?" Demyx breathed as he reached forward to tap Larxene's shoulder. Passing her the soda bottle, he continued, "Smells like hot dogs!" When the rest of the group concurred, the Nocturne said, "Let's go buy some! I heard they're often compared to Chicago hot dogs!"

"You're thinking of the pizzas, smart one," Larxene corrected. "It's competition between Chicago and New York _pizza."_

"Oh," Demyx mumbled, tilting his head. "Well anyway, let's go get something to eat!" So with that suggestion, the musician scampered ahead of the group toward the hot dog stand. Overseeing the small establishment was a large man, mustard stains on his apron, with the occasional fly hanging around him. His oddly shaped black hair momentarily distracted Demyx until the man gave him a look that said 'Hurry up and ask for something.'

His name? Louie. Disliked by both cats _and _dogs.

Blinking, the young man said, "Oh, uh... Axel, what do you guys want?"

"Well, what does he sell?" the pyro replied as he came up to the stand on the corner of the sidewalk. Handing the near-empty bottle to Roxas, the pyro simply shrugged and said, "Eh, just ask for a whole slew of hot dogs still connected together." As Demyx relayed the order, he noticed something knee-high out of the corner of his eye. Trailing his green gaze to it, Axel caught sight of a small dog peeking out of an alley at them all; more particularly, the sight of the hot dogs that Louie was pulling out for Demyx. Nudging Larxene's shoulder, Axel motioned with his head toward the Terrier mutt who was looking at them. "Must be a stray," Axel suggested.

"New York has countless strays," Larxene offered flippantly. "No collar or anything on this one, but he doesn't exactly fit the near-starvation look, either. Nice-looking mutt, though, I'll give him that."

"Who's nice-looking?" Roxas asked as he tossed the empty soda bottle into a garbage near Louie. Looking to where Axel and Larxene were gazing, Roxas smiled. "Hey, cute little guy, isn't he? Looks like he's part Rat Terrier! Like in that one movie My Dog Skip!"

Axel gave the boy a look. "You went to Earth to see a movie?" he asked flatly.

"What?" Roxas asked, on the slight defensive. "It was a good movie! Anyway, that dog right there kinda looks like the one in the movie, only more rugged and bigger!"

"Cuz he's a mix between something else," Larxene added. "But I gotta admit, there's something pretty..._cool, _about him... Like he doesn't have a care in the world on the outside. No worries, pretty carefree, y'know?"

"Aw," Demyx crooned when he came up. "He must be hungry! Here, let's give him a hot dog!" the man suggested, breaking off a link and walking over to the small dog, who sniffed toward the food eagerly. When Demyx knelt down in front of the dog, eyeing the grey paws and brown spot on his back, the young man stared into that brown-and-white face with the confidant chocolate eyes. "Want some?" Demyx asked quietly, offering a hot dog between the two, near the dog's grey muzzle.

For a moment the stray's eyes sparked with mischief, and this caused Demyx to look minutely confused as he tilted his head. However, when he did this, Demyx slackened his grip on the rest of his hot dogs, and the dog gave a huge lick on the side of the Nocturne's face; Demyx yelped right as the dog clamped his jaws on the rest of the hot dogs, running off with them.

Upon witnessing this, Axel, Roxas, and Larxene widened their eyes and allowed their jaws to drop; quickly recovering, the group dashed after the dog, who had retreated back into the alley. "Get that damn dog!" Axel shouted as he pulled Demyx to his feet by his hood. With Roxas and Larxene at his heels, Axel shouted, "Those are my hot dogs, you thief!"

With Demyx right behind Roxas, the group pursued the dog in the alley, making sure to never let the canine out of their sight. Larxene, being the fastest member, was at the head of the entourage now; she made a lightning-aided leap for the dog, but she only felt the fur on his tail as she fell to the dirty ground, Axel managing to leap over her to continue the chase. Spitting out blood from biting her tongue, Larxene scrambled up to follow Axel; the dog continued running confidantly as he came upon a busy intersection. Larxene came to an abrupt halt, fear stretching her eyes wide. Roxas and Demyx, behind the Nymph, collided into her back, causing her to start forward and closer to the rushing cars.

Axel, ahead of the group, never caught this slip; his eyes were intent on the hot dog-loaded stray as the four-legged animal leaped onto the back of a moving taxi. Winking at the pyro, the dog switched vehicles to get a seat on a cement truck revolving backside. Moving his paws in tune with the slow spinning, the dog finally jumped onto the other side of the sidewalk, cars still serving as a barrier between man and animal.

"I got him, Axel!" Demyx quipped as the man leaped through a portal onto the other side of the street, not bothering to notice if anyone was watching them. Roxas followed suit, and Axel was about to do the same thing until he remembered Larxene. Turning to her, he noticed her stiff posture as she stared out into the street, vehicles still going to and fro according to their designated routes.

"Larx, c'mon!" Axel shouted, moving to grab her wrist. However, when he saw her expression, Axel stopped and closed Demyx's portal. "What's up?" he asked his friend, amidst the noise of New York.

Swallowing, Larxene blinked and merely said, "Nothing, come one." As she made another portal, again one that was disregarded when it came to witnesses, Axel gently grabbed her arm.

His emerald eyes never leaving her, Axel made a motion with his head to indicate the road. "Spooked?" he asked softly. "You almost ran into oncoming traffic, I bet."

Taking her arm out of his grasp, Larxene closed her eyes and murmured, audible enough for him to hear, "No, but it certainly brought back memory of another incident that would've been similar to this."

"That's what I'm talking about," Axel replied, leading her through a portal. "Must've been a little shocking -pardon the pun- to nearly get hit by a car again. When it hit you last time, you nearly twisted your leg.... So I can understand why you'd be a bit spooked right now."

Larxene growled, "Do we really need a recap of foolish mistakes? I wasn't looking in my pursuit, and it served me right. It was a lesson."

Axel sighed as he followed her through the portal, in hopes of resuming the chase for the dog and the stolen food.

* * *

Hoping he had finally given those people the slip, Dodger laughed as he flicked his head to twirl his catch around his neck. _Posi-lutely well-done catch,_ he said praising himself and his artful dodging. Holding his head high, Dodger made his way to the outskirts of the grand city, finally making his way through to the wet docks in the shipyard. Passing each familiar ship, Dodger finally came upon a small, rundown boathouse in a secluded area where no ships came. Grinning, he walked along the creaky wooden dock in the dusky light toward the premises. Hopping over the small stretch of dark-green water separating the dock and the boat-house, Dodger set down his catch. Counting the links, Dodger smiled happily. _'Nough for everyone, with some to spare._ Picking the food back up, the dog pushed open the wooden door, entering the boat-house.

The first to greet him was the smallest of the group; the Chihuahua scampered over to Dodger excitedly, bouncing in front of the larger dog. _Hey-hey-hey! _he said jubilantly, rough voice sounding like the crunch of gravel with a Mexican accent. _Dodger's back, man! And he brought us some food! _Holding out a small paw for Dodger to slap it, the Chihuahua watched as the rest of their friends looked up from their individual activities to look at their gang leader. A large grey-colored Great Dane looked up from his picture book to pant hungrily at the hit dogs; a slim, beautiful Saluki stretched out of her comfortable makeshift bed to trot over to Dodger; a plump Bulldog turned his head from where he was watching Macbeth on the TV.

_Have some dinner, _Dodger said lightly, tossing a hot dog to each of his friends. _How'd your guys' day go?_

The Saluki -Rita- swallowed her bite before saying smoothly yet regretfully, _Not so good. Einstein was too big to go unnoticed near the fruit stand on Wall Street; the guy saw us trying to snatch something to eat._ Sighing, she nudged a dejected Einstein, and the Great Dane whimpered in apology. _Ah, it's alright, big guy. At least Tito got us some money for Fagin. Right, Tito?_ Rita asked as afterthought, eyeing the Chihuahua, who was scarfing down his meal.

Nodding enthusiastically now, Tito dashed over to a chest where he kept his 'spoils'. _'Ey, you can still sell the wallet, too, man! Check it out!_ Tossing the brown wallet over to Dodger, Tito wagged his tail furiously in delight.

As Dodger nosed the wallet open, the Bulldog, Francis, said, _Nobody's going to want to buy that torn up rubbish!_

_Frankie, lighten up! _Tito scolded, pushing his nose into Francis's own.

_Francis. Francis. FRANCIS!_ The more Francis said his own name for Tito, the more his hackle rose, until he appeared to be snarling.

_Knock it off, boys, Rita said_ shortly; Francis regained his regal air, while Tito settled for blowing a raspberry at the canine.

Meanwhile, Dodger sighed. _There wasn't much in it, Tito. Only a couple of bucks. Not enough for Fagin to make a considerable payment, but it's somethin', nonetheless._

Now downcast, Tito's large ears slowly drooped until the atmosphere became quiet.

Innocently hoping to change the subject, Einstein's deep voice sounded. _So, how'd you get the hot dogs, Dodger?_

Dodger's ears lifted at that, and his cool air returned. _I got them easy enough. Took 'em from a bunch of muggers._ Here, Dodger threw himself into a threatening crouch. _There I was, hoping to make a successful snatch of their hot dogs. They saw me!_ Einstien gasped, and Rita's eyes widened slightly_. They cornered me, and their knives shined menacingly the more they came upon me. Suddenly--_

Dodger's tale was cut off when the door flew open, and four people burst into the boat-house. Rita gasped, while Einstein cried out and hid behind a lazy-boy recliner; Francis made a startled exclamation while Dodger's eyes stretched wide, remembering the people as the ones he had stolen the hot dogs from.

Tito, meanwhile, kept running rapidly in circles, shouting _Gang war! Gang war!_

* * *

**A/N: And we shall see what happens next, next time!**


	13. Dog Fight!

Axel blinked in confusion as he saw the other dogs and their reactions to his presence, as well as that of his other three companions. Demyx looked confused, as if he did not know what to think of the disarray that had erupted between all of the dogs suddenly. Larxene's eyes tried keeping up with the movements of all of the canines, and the display look quite comical. Roxas, however, didn't seem to know which dog to hold first.

"Guys!" Roxas whined impatiently, punching Axel's arm, to which the pyro made a deep noise of annoyance. "Help me get those dogs!"

"Why?" Demyx asked as the Bulldog scurried beneath a tire. "I think they live here...."

"I love dogs, okay?!"

"Doesn't mean we have to pick up every damn dog we see," Larxene retorted quietly to the boy. Then, "On second thought, Roxas, why don't you try taking that big one over there? Behind the lazy-boy." She motioned with her fingers toward the Great Dane hiding behind the chair.

Eyes brightening, Roxas started forward, but he felt a tugging hold on his hood.

_"No,"_ Axel said, dragging out the word as if he were talking to a two-year old. When Roxas looked up at him with a demanding expression on his face, the pyro questioned, "Do you_ really_ think you can even _move _that big thing?" When Roxas turned his head to examine the dog again, the man noticed the boy's face pale somewhat at the prospect of trying to move the animal. "That's what I thought," Axel said.

Finally, Demyx just decided to step forward and place his fingers against his lips. Emitting a shrill whistle, the young man was pleased to see that the dogs stopped what they were doing to look at him, albeit in a rather confused manner.

"I just want my damn hot dogs," Axel said, growing exasperated, hands on his hips as he glared flatly at the animals.

At this, Tito snapped his head toward Dodger, who managed to look up at the man, as if interested. _'Ey, Dodger man!_ Tito quipped, voice grating slightly with his natural accent, _These're the peoples you stole the hot dogs from?_

Dodger said nothing, only closed his eyes and cocked his head away from Tito, salvaging his dignity.

_Man, where's the knives you were talkin' 'bout?!_ Tito demanded, as Rita and Francis began to cast suspicious looks at Dodger.

The beautiful Saluki hound grinned and sauntered over to her canine companion._ Dodger,_ her smooth voice flowed calmly into his ears, and Rita knew he heard her; his ear cocked slightly. _I guess you got caught. Just give them their food back, before Fagin comes back._

_I know I'M not gonna explain this!_ Tito piped up, earning an arrogantly pitying look from Francis.

While the dogs were conversing amongst themselves, Axel threw his head back and groaned, reaching the end of his patience. "Dammit, I'm hungry!" he moaned. "Screw this, I'm just takin' them!"

Despite Larxene's warning -clearing her throat with a 'you-don't-want-to-do-that' look on her face- the pyromaniac walked forward and snatched up the links. Yes, Axel _knew_ that the hot dogs were filthy and far past the 5-Second Roll doctrine, but he wasn't the type to just roll over and let someone steal his food. However, he suddenly leaped up with a yelp of pain, holding up his left leg. There, dangling from the pants now, was the feisty Chihuahua, who was growling ferociously. At least, for a little guy he was growling ferociously; to Axel and his group the growling sounded more like a broken toy motorboat that children put in the bath tub.

_Let go of those hot dogs, _Tito growled, trying to shake his head, _or you'll be sorry, man!_

"Get it off!" Axel called out, frustrated as he tried hopping on one foot while shaking the Chihuahua-infected other. "Kingdom Hearts, is this damn thing super-glued to me?! Roxas, get it off!"

Roxas instantly rushed over to the man, holding the Chihuahua by his sides. "C'mon!" Roxas tried coaxing the little dog to let go. "His legs don't taste very good, anyway!"

Axel shot Roxas a glare. He prayed Larxene wouldn't make a comment--

"How would YOU know?"

Too late.

Sighing roughly, Larxene strode past Demyx to rip the hot dog links out of the pyro's hands, much to his open chagrin. Smacking the dog in the head with the food, she barked, "Here, dammit! Take it and eat it, if you're that desperate!"

Roxas released his hold on the dog, and the small canine instantly dropped to the creaky floorboards to leap at the links. Dashing away with the catch, Tito scurried toward the bull dog, nails scratching the wooden floor.

Before Axel could protest, Larxene shoved a hot dog link that she had kept into his mouth. "Eat it," she challenged. "See if you have their taste buds."

Axel chewed experimentally for a quick second before he loudly spat the food out. "Holy crap!" he said loudly. "If I knew they were gonna taste that awful, I would've just let it go!" He wiped his lips furiously, next wiping his tongue to try and rid himself of the dirty taste of meat, dirt, and possibly cement.

Larxene rolled her eyes, while Roxas crept over to the dogs, who had all clustered together to share their meal. He was relieved when the Saluki looked at him and allowed the Keyblade wielder to pet her silky fur. He shot Axel a look of puppy dog eyes.

"No," came the flat reply.

"But she's so pretty!" Roxas begged.

"No," Axel repeated. "Because I know that if I let you take _one_, you'll want the rest of them."

Roxas's blue eyes lit up. "Can I--"

"No!"

Roxas pouted and gave Axel the cold shoulder.

Dodger saw all this, and the dog trotted over to sniff Axel curiously.

"If he's gonna think about pissing on my leg--"

Dodger barked, insulted.

"What?" Axel asked, by far exasperated still. He knelt down, eye to eye with the ragged street dog. He noticed that the dog was trying to stare him down, and brown eyes clashed with green. Axel's look to Dodger turned concentrated and intimidating; Dodger kept staring, eye narrowed in ridiculous rivalry between man and dog.

Moments passed by, until Demyx heard a distant honk sounding twice in impatience. "Guys--"

His mouth was covered by a wary Larxene, who had also heard the sound. "Shh," she urged softly, her eyes directed toward the door. Roxas came up beside her to listen as well. The three heard the other dogs -minus Dodger- creep up quietly from their previous spots, and the young boy noticed how the Great Dane was quivering in slight fear, while the Chihuahua's ears were twitching nervously. The Saluki and Bulldog looked rather apprehensive as well. Roxas could feel the tension and anxiety creeping out of the dogs like mist, and his hand protectively went to the head of the Saluki.

Dodger finally managed to pick up the tension in the air, as he had still been absorbed in his stare-down with his head, he quickly trotted over to Rita, while Axel recovered as well enough to walk beside his own companions._ Is it Sykes?_ Dodger asked, voice hushed and quiet with his anxious manner.

Rita's eyes never left the door as she answered, _I don't know. Fagin's not back yet, and this will be the first time that we've actually seen Sykes, if it's really him...._

Dodger's brown eyes flickered. Fagin, their master and friend, had often talked about this man named Sykes, but often his speech was in fear and submission, as if the man was a massive threat if he did not get what he wanted. Dodger knew that Fagin owed the man some money, but how far in debt his companion was he could not imagine.

His thoughts were sent away when Tito nudged his shoulder, indicating with his narrow muzzle to the door, where rough scratches on the other side were sounding. Dodger's muscles tensed, ready to defend his friends, when the weak green wooden doors parted in creaky protest.

The group of Nobodies' eyes widened when they saw two large, sleek, black Dobermans stalking side by side down the old steps and toward the living space. Demyx asumed they were both siblings, and knew that the only way to tell them apart was by the respective red and blue collars around their thick necks. He threw a quick sidelong glance to Axel, who returned his look with a warning: don't approach the Dobermans just yet.

Roxas felt Rita tense beneath his ungloved fingers; he knelt down and put his arms protectively around her neck while the black dogs smirked in front of the ragtag bunch of canines.

_Well, well, well,_ the one with the red collar said silkily toward Rita. _It seems Fagin has some rather beautiful women in this ugly boat. _He pulled his lips back, revealing ivory sharp teeth. _The name's Roscoe, and this here is my brother Desoto. _

Before Rita could throw a scathing retort, Tito shot up in front of her._ 'Ey, you treat the lady here with respect, you fool!_

Roscoe's eyes glittered with animosity as he swatted Tito to the side with his heavy paw. Tito was sent sprawling into Francis, who had rushed forward to stop Tito's momentum. Dodger gave a low growl, hackles rising, and from the corner of his eyes he noticed the three adults give a start. _What are you doing here, 'ROSCOE'?_ Dodger demanded. _Who sent you? If no one did, get outta here!_

It wasn't Roscoe who answered; rather, it was his brother Desoto who supplied the reply. _Why, Sykes, of course. We've come for Fagin. Sykes is waiting up there on the docks. And he doesn't_ _like to wait,_ the blue-collared dog added ominously, baring his teeth for extra effect as he stared threateningly at Dodger, who bristled.

_But he's not here,_ Einstein said miserably, scared._ I think he's still in the city...._

At this, Roscoe's ear went flat as he frowned. _Well that just won't do then, will it? We're here for the money NOW._ Turning his head to the four two-legged ones, he snipped, _So who're they?_

_Nobody,_ Rita was quick to answer, feeling the boy's arms around her neck still.

_Ah!_ Roscoe breathed, eyes closed halfway as he gazed confidently at the she-dog. _She speaks! And what is your name, sweetheart?_

She narrowed her eyes. _My name is Rita,_ she answered proudly. _And I'm assuming your name is actually Pig._

Roscoe looked genuinely taken aback, as if he had been struck by his own master. Desoto had no time for his arrogant brother's failed attempt to get a woman, and rudely nudged his shoulder. _We can't keep Sykes waiting, _his voice grated into Roscoe's ear. _Either we bring up Fagin, who obviously isn't here, or we just find whatever we can find here._

Roscoe sniffed with broken dignity and agreed with his brother by saying, _Right. Search the dump, Desoto._ Roscoe himself rudely pushed past Einstein and Francis before the dogs could protest.

Larxene watched as the Dobermans ungraciously toppled over many possessions ans ransacked the dogs' sleeping areas, making an utter mess of the place. She also noticed the street dogs exchanging nervous glances with each other, but the first one they had encountered was hanging aloof from them somewhat. They were just standing there, looking nervous, as the intruders continued rummaging through _their_ belongings,_ their_ home.

Before she could take a step, Axel walked purposefully past her and toward the Terrier mix, who looked at the pyro in torn anger. "I know you can understand me," she heard him say as he knelt in front of the dog. "So listen close and hear me out. You're just gonna let these total purebred assholes turn your place upside-down, when they have no business doing so?" Larxene saw a Dodger looking intently at the man, as if he indeed understood him. Axel continued speaking. "Don't be such a pathetic little wimp who's all bark and no bite, cuz I'm starting to think that that's what you ARE."

Larxene saw Dodger's eyes flash like flint, as if a spark had been made. It seemed that Axel had seen this as well, for he had stood up again. Looking down at the dog, he said, "Go and show me that you aren't, hm?" She didn't have to see his face to know he had a smirk; she knew her friend that well.

Dodger's hackles were rising again as he stalked toward the center of the living quarters. _Roscoe. Desoto,_ he said dangerously, the warning within his growl very obvious. It was enough to halt the Dobermans in their searching, their eyes betraying a flicker of surprise as one. _I'm telling you both one more time. Get out now._

Roscoe smirked while Desoto chuckled darkly. The pair circled Dodger, and Roscoe growled,_ Oh, look at this here, Desoto. Suddenly the worm has a backbone, eh? Let's see if he can prove it! _

Tito heaved a throaty snarl before he charged to Dodger's side, his stance battle-ready. _You wanna pick on Dodger, you gonna have to pick on me, TOO!_

Desoto grinned eagerly while Roscoe laughed haughtily. _The more the merrier! _he barked, revealing his teeth once more.

Francis bristled and made his way into the circle, Einstein at his side. Rita was the last to arrive, as Roxas seemed extremely reluctant of letting her join. She finally broke free of the boy's hold in time to join her companions. They had all seen Dodger's sudden change in attitude, and they would stand by his side to the end.

Roscoe observed all five canines. All of you? Even YOU, Rita dear? Fine. Maybe afterward you'll all realize not to cross us!

Roscoe and Desoto had flanked the group on either side, and they both leaped into the middle, teeth bared in loud snarling.

Demyx gasped as the middle space of the boat broke into a frenzy of snarling, fighting fur. "Larx!" he called out automatically. When he caught Larxene's attention, he said frantically, "Those Doberman's are gonna kill them! They can fight! Look!"

Indeed, when Larxene looked, she noticed that most of the wailings and high whimpers she was hearing was coming from the street dogs. They were losing to the two massive Dobermans who had most likely already had experience in fighting. Before she could reply to Demyx, her blue eyes caught a worried Roxas suddenly sprint toward the brawling zone. _"No,_ _you little idiot!"_ Larxene automatically shouted, as she and Axel made a mad dash toward the boy, Demyx behind them as well. The Nymph yanked Roxas back by his hood, sending the boy sprawling backward to the floor with a loud grunt. However, this caused Demyx to trip over the boy, and the Nocturne crashed into Larxene; this in turn made her hit Axel, and so he was also sent to ground.

Dangerously close to Desoto, who noticed this proximity.

Quick as a flash, Desoto went for Axel's face.

Quick as a flash, Dodger appeared on Desoto's back and sank his fangs into the back of the Doberman's neck, causing him to rear his head back before he could touch Axel's face. Scrambling backward and managing to stand up, Axel watched for a split second as the dogs continued fighting. Before his mind could register, he suddenly saw Larxene swat a kunai-armed hand across Roscoe's flank, making the caning yelp in shock and surprise. _"What the hell do you think you're doing, stupid?!"_ Axel shouted, rushing forward and to catch Tito, who had been smacked across the face by Desoto. Of course he didn't get a response from Larxene, so Axel dragged Demyx with him into the fray, tossing Tito into Roxas's arms. "Watch that dog. That way you don't get into this also!"

"Why me?!" Demyx wailed. "Everyone knows you don't get in the middle of a dog fight!"

"Who cares?" Axel shot back before letting go of Demyx's hood. "Spray the damn things!"

"The Dobermans?" Demyx inquired mechanically, confused and scared out of his wits.

"No, spray Larxene," Axel answered flatly, sarcasm dripping off of every word. "Spray-- _I wasn't serious!"_

Too late, as Demyx's paranoid state demanded that he follow Axel's sarcastic orders. He doused an unsuspecting Larxene with water, causing the woman to become briefly distracted before she turned to Demyx, who now smiled weakly at her. _"What the hell was that for, you no-good back-stabbing water-boy?!"_ Larxene demanded harshly, bolts of electricity involuntarily sparking off of her body from the water contact. _"I swear to Kingdom Hearts, you better be wearing a cup right now!--"_

If Larxene was going to stab Demyx with more death threats, she never finished them. Roscoe snarled and leaped at her side, but didn't expect the electricity to retaliate to his contact so ferociusly. As his leg clamped on her leg, he immediately yelped and was sent back with a bolt of water-reacting electricity. Larxene, however, was still sent to her knees, and she snarled out in pain.

To make up for his mistake, Demyx frantically ran forward and shot a blast of water Roscoe, who was propelled into Desoto. Both were sent sprawling to the wall, and the crashed in a wet heap on the floor, soaked and waterlogged.

Dodger now stood in front of them, and though he was limping heavily on his right foreleg, he still carried himself with pride and dignity. _Had enough?_ he asked mildly.

_Tell 'em to clear our already, Dodger man!_ Tito snapped loudly from his forced spot in Roxas's arms. Honestly, this boy would not let go of him!

Snarling, Roscoe stumbled to his paws; shaking his fur, he waited for Desoto to do the same. _This isn't over, DODGER, _Roscoe spat resentfully, prowling toward the entrance, his brother behind him._ We ain't finished,_ Roscoe said, his voice lowered to an eerie growl. _We'll be back soon, and you better hope you have something to give Sykes next time. _

_Or else,_ Desoto added menacingly.

Before Axel could try and fathom what the two dogs were saying, they were gone, having slunk through the doors already. Blinking now, he turned to Demyx. "Nice work there, Dem," he praised.

The Nocturne blushed and scratched his head sheepishly. "Ah, it was nothin'...."

Francis rolled his eyes and padded slowly over to Einstein._ How are you holding up?_ he asked, sniffing the larger dog.

_It was, was nothing,_ Einstein stuttered, still spooked at being in the midst of that skirmish.

Rita left the two to walk over to the blond-haired woman, who was growling at herself in anger. As Rita approached her, she saw the torn fabric of her black pants, as well as the blood welling from the deep wounds Roscoe had made with his teeth. The hot scent clogged Rita's nostils, and she whined quietly in sympathy, seeing Larxene's blue eyes glazing in agony. She admired how the woman was not crying out in pain; instead she was trying to stop the bleeding by trying place pressure on the open gashes. Briefly, Rita recollected how this woman had struck Roscoe the first time; if she had not done that, Roscoe would have leapt upon Rita and mauled her who knows how. She licked Larxene's cheek gratefully now.

Larxene was too occupied with stopping the bleeding to push away Rita's muzzle. She did, however, acknowledge Rita with a blue glance before returning to her leg.

Axel, meanwhile, was a little ways off, kneeling in front of Dodger. The canine was looking back at the pyro, but this time his eyes held a steady acceptance of this pyro. "So then," Axel began coolly, "don't make me come back because I hear those dogs are pushing you around again, hm?"

Dodger flashed a collected grin before he realized that Axel was ruffling his head. Dodger realized also, that he didn't mind so much. In fact, he found himself holding out his paw for Axel to slap.

Axel would have completed the sequence, but Dodger pulled his paw back just before Axel made contact with it.

Dodger just could not resist doing that.

Axel gave a playful frown before saying, "Hey, you're alright, fella. Lemme give you some advice though." When Dodger perked a brown ear, Axel said secretively, "If you're gonna con someone outta their hot dogs, con the _cats._ They're much easier to trick, especially the little ones."

Dodger blinked, never once having considered that option._ I'll take that into consideration, pal, _he said, though knowing that Axel wasn't going to hear him.

Axel grinned and reached for the backpack Roxas had been told to carry; it had been tossed to a corner some time during their visit. Reaching inside, he pulled out a spare tank top that belonged to Demyx. Managing to rip off a supple amount, Axel tied it around Dodger's neck, giving the impression of a handkerchief. "There you go," Axel said with mild pride. "Now you look rather dashing now, don't you think?"

Dodger stood in a proud position to show off his new trademark attire, admiring the red compliment on his fur.

Axel gave a light chuckle and ruffled Dodger's neck ruff before standing back up. Slinging the backpack over his shoulder, he walked over to Demyx, who was supporing an injured Larxene; the Nymph didn't look at all happy to be aided in standing. Looking down, Axel sucked in a quick breath. "That doesn't look too pretty," he said unnecesarrily.

Larxene shot him a glare before the pyro held her up on her other side. "I think we better get going then, if she can't even walk. Roxas! Time to go!"

Roxas looked up sharply at the sound of his name. Slowly standing up, Axel noticed how the boy was trying his best to stay in the shadows while still sticking close to the group.

Axel sighed.

"Roxas. Take the Chihuahua outta your coat."

_"Darnit!"_

* * *

**A/N: See, see? It was Axel who gave Dodger the red handkerchief -however much at the expense of one of Demyx's tank tops-** **and it was also Axel who told Dodger to con little kitties!** **So if there was no Axel influence, there'd be no little Oliver!**


	14. Harassing The Schemer

Roxas looked at Namine's latest drawing, smiling at the subject: the puppy looked rather adorable in Namine's unique style. "He reminds me of that puppy I once tried to give you....," the Key Of Destiny murmured with a reminiscent grin.

"Oh yeah," the memory witch replied, crossing her arms. "I swear you tried to make me sneeze to death that day...."

"On my defense," Roxas replied, putting the drawing down carefully on her table, "I didn't _know_ you were allergic to dogs until the last minute. And second, who ever heard of people sneezing themselves to death?" He grinned at her playfully.

"You never know," Namine defended, playing along as Roxas put the back of his fists on his hips. "You could probably sneeze your brain out."

"And....where would your brain come out?"

"Duh, your nose!" Namine answered, placing an index finger on the said appendage. "That's how those one people took out your brain when they were mummifying the dead! I forgot what they were called..... I think they were called the Spaniards...."

Roxas shook his head. "I don't think so," he lightly objected. "I think they were the Soviets, no?"

"The Soviets were basically the Russians, remember?" Namine pointed out. "And I know for sure that they didn't mummify...."

Scratching his head, the young boy suggested "The Huns?"

"No, they just pulled your limbs apart...."

"Oh...." Roxas frowned in thought. The boy's thoughts were interrupted however, when the doors to Namine's room opened; Marluxia stepped in silently, a small colorful box in his hands.

"Hello there, Namine," Marluxia greeted politely. "And boy," he added dismissively.

Roxas frowned.

"Hi, Marluxia," Namine said, smiling. "Are those my new crayons?" she asked eagerly.

"Indeed they are!" Marluxia replied, handing them to the girl's outstretched hands. Namine eagerly -though Marluxia would describe the description as 'greedily'- took the fresh box of crayons from the Assassin's hands and held them close. "Well then....," Marluxia let his sentence trail off as he cleared his throat.

"Oh yeah! Thank you, Marluxia!"

Marluxia nodded approvingly as he vanished through a portal.

As Roxas helped Namine sort through the new crayons, he commented, "They must be really precious to you, if you love them so much."

Smiling, Namine replied, "Oh yes. In fact, I call my crayons, 'My Precious....es.'

She looked confused for a minute, trying to figure out if the word 'precious' could be used in a plural sense, and Roxas chuckled warmly as he nuzzled her shoulder.

* * *

The pink-haired man was just about to fish out some hidden bacon from the refrigerator when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. Quickly hiding the food, Marluxia turned his head to see the local musician. "What do you want, Demyx?" Marluxia asked flatly, clearly not respecting a member of two higher rankings than himself.

Demyx frowned for the quickest of seconds before replying, "I was JUST coming over to say that Axel wants to see you about something!" He huffed, offended as he stomped off back to his seat next to the said pyro, who was grinning expectantly at the eleventh member.

Marluxia sighed and rose to walk over to Axel; apparently he would have to wait in order to eat something. "Yes, Axel?" Marluxia replied stiffly. "What do you want?"

The pyro grinned and replied, "I need to know the pinkest, fruitiest, most desperate world you can think of!"

Marluxia raised an eyebrow incredulously, perplexed as to why the Flurry Of Dancing Flames would demand such a ludicrous inquire. "Er.... Wonderland?" His eyes suddenly sparked with annoyance. "Wait-- Why'd you ask ME?"

"Wonderland?" Axel wondered, ignoring Marluxia's last part.

Marluxia sighed. "That, or Paris Hilton's closet...."

"Is that a fancy hotel in Paris?" Demyx asked innocently.

Axel couldn't stifle a snicker, and Marluxia knew that the pyro was thinking something that might be in distaste for innocent children. Or Demyx. Back-handing Axel's shoulder --the unintentional force behind the motion causing Axel to fall out of his seat-- the pink-haired Assassin barked, "Get your head outta the gutter!"

Rubbing his head grumpily, the pyromancer muttered something along the lines of "Flower-boy's damn flowers must've gotten tangled in his hair or something....."

* * *

"So, you guys aren't going with Marluxia's suggestion after all?" the boy inquired as his companion packed several pairs of boxers into his black backpack.

"Wonderland?" Axel scoffed. "Eh, we may as well. Zexion once said that their Queen looked pretty single to him." As the pyro said this, he aided Roxas in packing several articles of clothing into the backpack, making sure to toss in a few small snacks in the process. "So I say we take some random guy and see how he fares against the Queen Of Hearts, eh, Rox? That way we can see what kind of guy she's into. Who knows, it might even make her less of a trigger-angry head-cutter..... Therefore we'll have done some good in a world!"

"We wanna be good?" Roxas inquired, tilting his head.

"You know what I mean," Axel returned, rolling his eyes.

Roxas shrugged flippantly. Then, "Hey, you know what would be funny?"

Axel turned his gaze to look at Roxas, immediately noticing the rare sly grin shaping the boy's lips. "What, Roxas...?" Axel asked, finding his chest quiver with excitement at whatever the boy had in mind.

"Let's bring Zexion to Wonderland with us!"

Axel nearly fell over in canned laughter.

* * *

"Whatever it is, no."

Axel huffed, slouching briefly. "Don't be such a lazy-ass, Zex," the pyro retorted. "We just want you to come along because you could actually be of some good use!"

The Cloaked Schemer's visible eye glittered with mounting irritation. "Of some 'use'? Please. And it's not laziness, so much as I just don't want to accompany you four."

Demyx made a noise that was similar to 'Aww....' and Larxene snickered. Roxas put his lip out, making sure that Zexion could see the action.

Axel rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Oh, come on, Zexion. At least get outta the castle or something. Don't grow to be like those old ladies who live by themselves with no one else but a bunch of cats!"

Zexion's eye twitched, offended on a few levels. "It's better than dying of an STD," he retorted quietly, trying to get back into his book.

Axel's mouth dropped open, and Larxene took the open opportunity to attack. She pointed at Axel and laughed, "Hah, you burn, you oxymoron!"

"At least I'm not a plain MORON....," Axel muttered loudly to her.

"Takes one to know one," Larxene shot back, grinning.

Axel made a comical growl of frustration in his throat, and he wanted to pull at his spiky hair. "Dammit, Larxene!"

She merely raised an eyebrow, and Demyx could only stifle his laughter at the banter of the Savage Nymph and the Flurry Of Dancing Flames.

Zexion, however, only sighed roughly as he tried to turn his page, though he felt as if he hadn't truly read the words, everyone was talking so much. Was it too much to ask for a little peace and quiet in this over-sized boarding house of a castle? "Can you all leave if you're just going to stand there and shoot gibberish back at each other?"

"Hey. Hey," Larxene said defensively, putting her fists in her hips. "It's _intelligent_ gibberish."

Zexion scoffed. "And I'm a transvestite."

Axel smirked. "You are if you don't come with us, Frank N. Furter."

Larxene looked up, sighing blissfully, "Gotta love Rocky Horror Picture Show....."

Meanwhile, Zexion's eye twitched again, and he was suddenly even more aware of Axel's presence so close to him. From his spot on the couch, Zexion unleashed a swift shot to Axel's gut, making the pyro double over and groan loudly.

"Ow, shit...!" Axel swore, managing speech. "Goddamn magician...! Did your frickin' magic bunny escape up your ass or something...?!"

Zexion made a rough noise in his throat that was a cross between a growl and a hiss. "You asked for it. I swear, sometimes I think you burn your brain cells away somehow...."

Demyx sighed, wanting to go to Wonderland already and harass the Queen Of Hearts. "Aw, come on, already!" the musician whined. "Zexion's shorter than all of us! Except you, Roxas. Can't we all just pick him up and take him with us?!"

Larxene and Axel blinked, seeing the logic in this. Both turned their heads to Zexion, and the Schemer's eyes widened. "Oh hell no, you damn infidels.... Don't you dare...."

The low panic in his voice was enough for Larxene's eyes to stimulate an evil glint. "Oh, I dare.....," she purred as she advanced with Axel to apprehend the panicky young man, who was trying to keep them away with stinging insults.

* * *

**A/N: I think it's time to bring in a smart guy for a while....**


	15. The King Of Hearts

"I demand that you set me down immediately! What rule permits you to treat me with such discrepancy on my part?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "Mine!" he replied, smirking. "Demyx, you still got a hold on him?"

"Yep!" Demyx grinned, making sure he kept a firm hold on the smaller man's wrists, Axel readjusting his grip on said man's ankles. "Jeez, Zex," the musician laughed, "you're pretty light!"

Beside the furious Schemer, Larxene giggled maliciously. Roxas, on Zexion's other side, cracked a smile and hoped the older man didn't see.

Axel grinned, saying, "Cheer up, Zex! It's not like we're going into anything life-threatening."

Zexion glared mutinously at the pyromancer, and at this point he simply let himself relax and be carried, figuring the most he can do right now is let them deal with his dead-weight if they were so keen on carrying him. He wrinkled his noise in distaste at all the hedge foliage and abundant greenery they were passing through. Briefly, he speculated whether or not these four even knew where they were headed, and he deduced they did not.

"Hey," Larxene quipped, frowning, "do you guys know where you're going?"

Zexion sighed. "Oh, so at least _one_ of you can formulate an intelligent question..."

"It's a _maze_, Larxene," Demyx answered, rolling his eyes and grinning. "You're supposed to get _lost._"

"...What?" Larxene replied, blinking in disbelief.

Zexion groaned in exasperation.

"Wait, we're lost?" Roxas asked Axel.

Axel huffed in exasperation at Demyx. "Did you HAVE to make it sound like you had no idea what you were doing?"

"Well, who's idea was it to put me at the front?" Demyx returned defensively.

"Yours!" Axel retorted.

"And you let me?"

Axel cupped his face and dragged it down in disbelief. "Alright," he huffed, "Zex, this is where you become useful."

Zexion growled in irritation.

"Sniff out where the Queen would be," Axel continued.

"May I ask who died and made you a higher rank than myself?" the Schemer retorted.

"No one," Axel replied, quirking a red eyebrow. "But if you don't do as I _suggest_, terrible things are going to happen to your hair." With this, Axel dropped an ankle and snapped his fingers, tiny flickers of ember dancing about them. He smirked when Zexion's eyes widened; chuckling, Axel went on. "You wouldn't want to explain to everybody how you lost your hair, right? I mean, I suppose I could burn off some of that overhanging fringe of yours, but why stop there?"

Larxene poorly stifled a giggle, but Roxas's eyes grew wide. Before the young boy could protest at the heinous act, Number Six exclaimed sourly, "Alright, alright! Just... head forward a bit more and then make a left at the dead end, and from there you make a loop into the second right..."

"Huh?" The odd directions already had Demyx scratching his head; of course, he had to drop a wrist to do this, and since Zexion's ankle was already dropped, the man fell sideways onto his face. Quite predictably, Demyx dropped the other wrist in surprise; Axel, figuring that he wasn't going to holding onto Zexion's other ankle any longer, simply let it drop to the ground. Zexion now lay in a heap, making a hiss of frustration before standing up and dusting himself.

"As I was _saying_ before I was so unceremoniously dropped," he continued, "after making the second right, you descend into the first left."

Axel blinked a few times, his brain trying to register what in the worlds the young man had just told him. "Can you, uh...?"

"What? 'Dumb it down'?" Zexion sneered. "Is your head so far up your ass that you can't understand simple directions in Wonderland, Number Eight?"

Not about to let Zexion get the best of him, Axel crossed his arms. "Now now," he began, "I was only thinking of Demyx here, so that he could understand it too."

"Hey!" With that indignant protest, Demyx shot a guilty glare at the pyro: okay, so he didn't quite understand the directions, but did Axel really have to put it out there?

"Oh, can we just get on with it already?" Larxene whined.

"Er, right!" Axel quickly took the lead, and was almost surprised to turn his head and see that Zexion was actually following of his own free will. Though, Roxas was also by the Schemer's side, and Axel deduced that it was to be ready to tell them if Zexion decided to make a run for it.

However, Roxas's main purpose was to question. Keeping his voice to a soft and curious murmur, the boy asked, "Are the directions really that complicated...?"

"No, not in the slightest," Zexion replied quietly, though the smirk his lips were playing spoke volumes. "I just figured that if they had the audacity to threaten me, I'd give them a hard time with what they wanted. That, and I wanted to see how a group of idiots function on their own."

Roxas laughed nervously.

* * *

After nearly an hour of traversing through the maze, Axel opted to simply burn the whole place down. Of course, Zexion reminded him about the whole concept of a presentable entrance: burning down her coveted gardens wasn't exactly the favored method to impress the Queen Of Hearts, especially when they were looking to set her up with a King Of Hearts.

"And may I ask why you are doing this?" Zexion asked when they passed a square of white roses; he could figure they were getting closer to her royal courts.

Axel shrugged, quite moody at this point.

"To fuel his ego," Larxene smirked. Axel shot her a glare. "_Aaaaand_ maybe to bring some light into peoples' lives so that they might give us less trouble in the future."

Zexion lifted an eyebrow. "That sounds recited," he murmured.

"It is."

Demyx quickly flashed a pointed finger as far as his arm could allow. "Look!" he exclaimed. "The Queen!"

Roxas and Axel quickly covered the Nocturne's mouth; if she was indeed nearby, they weren't about to blow their cover just yet. "Quiet, Dem!" Axel hissed in the water mage's ear.

Larxene stepped forward and examined the court they were coming in front of. "Yep," she murmured. "That's her alright. She's playin' croquet with a couple of her card soldiers."

Zexion sniffed the air. Indeed, he could smell the Queen's sweet but overpowering scent, along with the six other simple and minor scents of her minions. And of course, he smelled the earthy scents of their 'croquet balls'; he couldn't understand how those furry creatures could put up with the treatment of constantly being knocked with the croquet mallets. He simply dismissed that they might be masochistic.

Axel smirked. "Aiight, let's get this show on the road." Removing his hand, the pyromancer crossed his arms thoughtfully. "Now, how to approach her..."

"May I suggest a suggestion?" Demyx offered with a smile.

Axel looked at him. "I'm a little apprehensive," he began slowly, "but I guess so. I certainly don't have anything better."

"And you certainly don't have any so-called 'King Of Hearts' candidate either," Zexion put in, looking at Axel. "I'm almost appalled at your lack of strategy."

Axel grunted as Demyx summoned his beloved sitar.

"Now watch this," Demyx whispered, plucking the strings to get up a note.

Soon a gentle melody drifted through the court, loud enough to halt the croquet game in progress. The large, black-haired woman in the extravagant dress of reds, white, and blacks, lifted her head in irritated curiosity. "Who's playing that music in MY court?" she demanded, her deep voice resonating around the court. "Cards!" she barked, and from their hiding spot, Zexion was impressed with how swift and orderly these soldiers lined up at attention. Now why couldn't the Organization be that fashionable, compared with these minions?

"Find me the source of that music," the Queen ordered loudly, "or it's off with ALL your heads!"

Oh. That's why.

He watched the cards scramble about in utter hectic chaos, lacking all the formality from before.

Despite hearing the warning the Queen Of Hearts issued, Demyx continued playing, until he eventually walked into the croquet field, a smooth smile on his carefree features. "Greetings, ma'am!" he called as the rest of his comrades followed him out.

The buzzing hubbub in the clearing came to a dead halt, and all eyes were trained on these newcomers. Zexion wondered how those soldiers could possibly see, when he himself couldn't see any eyes on them...

"Do not address me as that!" The Queen managed to order, getting over her initial shock that these people could just stroll into her court, like a cat into someone's gardens. "You shall address me as Your Majesty!"

"Got it!" Axel quipped, giving a dramatic salute. Roxas snickered quietly behind him.

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Demyx replied, ceasing his playing.

The Queen scrutinized them with little interest beyond when she would order their heads off. Crossing her arms, still holding her croquet mallet, she asked, "What are you doing here in MY court?"

"Well," Demyx began, "we came to present you with the King Of Hearts!"

Larxene leaned on Axel's shoulder to whisper, "We did?" Yet the pyro didn't satisfy her with an answer; he only shrugged helplessly, just as clueless as she was at this time. Yet Larxene could also detect a hint of frustration in his green eyes: clearly he wasn't impressed with how Demyx had taken over his mission.

"A King, you say?" For once, the Queen Of Hearts stopped to ponder what this man was telling her. "Are you looking for a joint ruling of my kingdom?"

"Oh, whatever pleases you, ma'a- Your Majesty!" Demyx beamed brightly.

The Queen Of Hearts narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. A King? One with whom she could have the option of bossing around and yet still hold him as a status symbol? Well, how bad could he be? "Hm," she rumbled. "Alright, musician, let's see him!"

Demyx quickly went back to his entourage; grabbing the man's arm, the Nocturne threw him unceremoniously to the ground in front of the Queen Of Hearts.

Sprawled on the grassy surface, Zexion quickly looked up at the large woman in utter dread and horror.

* * *

**Right. I'm back. I hope. **

**Okay, that year hiatus... Well, I gotta admit, it was one hell of a year, and I didn't come out in once piece. Nor did I come out the same person, so to say.**

**BUUUUUT, hopefully I can get things kicked up around here again.**


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